Stefan Salvatore quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Damon

You have Elena participating in squirrel slaughter?

Stefan

Believe me, she's no happier about it than I am.

Damon

Heh heh. She'll shoot your eye out.

Elena

How many, um--ahem--you know, are we supposed to have before we get our strength back?

Stefan

More than we've had, that's for sure. Let me know if you see a damn buffalo.

Elena

This is depressing.

Stefan

Yeah. More depressing than walking for miles and no knowing where the hell you're going?

Elena

No, probably not more depressing than that.

Stefan

Damon is in full hero mode today.

Elena

I'm sure he was thrilled about that.

Stefan

I don't know. He had the whole savior of the universe voice going on.

Elena

I like that voice. You know, maybe this whole thing's a sign.

Stefan

A sign of what?

Elena

My blood can literally destroy him. If that's not a sign that were in a toxic relationship--

Stefan

Our blood, all right, our blood. Don't hog the blame. Look. We're vampires. We're a toxic species. Whether you want to blame it on magic or biology, it's just who we are. When a human gets ravenously hungry, they eat a double cheeseburger. We kill people. Some of us are more extreme than others, but that's just who we are.

Elena

How come you're so much better at controlling it?

Stefan

Because I'm so much worse when I don't. I'm only gonna say this once. You two are miserable without each other, so if you want to be with him, just be with him. Look. When humans want to break free from complicated relationships, they go to therapy. Vampires get a pass, ok?

Elena

I think I just hallucinated a unicorn.

Stefan

Hmm. Maybe Caroline's nearby.

Elena

Heh. If Caroline was here, we'd have a fully catered buffet on the side of the road and a rainbow.

Stefan

Two rainbows.

Elena

You just said that you were looking for him...

Stefan

I did. And then I realized that it was pointless and that I needed to move on with my life, so I stopped.

Elena

What do you mean you stopped?

Stefan

I mean I said goodbye, Elena. I moved on. Damon is gone; it's time for you to say goodbye, too.

Enzo

You have a lovely clavicle.

Thank you. I think.

Enzo

Forgive me, I always notice a woman's neck. I'm a neck person! So is Stefan, right Stefan?

Stefan

Not anymore.

Enzo

Ah, well, that's silly. You can't just stop being a neck person!

Stefan

You ready to start over?

Damon

Hell yeah.

Stefan

You get your daylight ring back when you decide to behave. Now, answer my question: Why did you come back here?

Damon

Because I missed my brother! I want to have a connection to my humanity, Stefan. I wanted to feel something again. And when I decided to come back home, it all came rushing back, just like I hoped it would.

Stefan

Oh, congrats. Now what?

Damon

Come on, man. Let's just hit the road, you and me, huh? I'll let you drive my car, I'll get you off this vegan diet, teach you how to feed again. It'll be great, Stef. Huh? What do you say? Come on! Trust me.

Damon

Way to be an optimist, Stefan.

Stefan

Just looking at the facts, Damon. 1912, you convinced me to drink human blood again, which is why I became a Ripper. In 1942, you almost pushed me off the rails again because you were so damn needy. 1977, you left my best friend to die after I sent her to come help you. And now, I'm finally happy. I have a new life, I'm doing well, and, uh, you just can't handle that, can you, Damon?

Damon

I'm not trying to screw up your dumb new life.

Stefan

You don't have to try, Damon. All you have to do is exist. Because no matter what I do or where I go, you will be with me forever, trying to destroy every single thing that I've built. I don't know why I thought this time would be any different. I wanted it to be different. You just keep failing.

Stefan

I'm never gonna be rid of you, am I?

Damon

No, you're not. 'Cause in 1912, I showed you who you were, Stefan. In 1942, I gave you your freedom, and in 1977 I almost killed your best friend because it should have been you there to help me, Stefan. You owe me, and it'll take you an eternity to pay me back. An eternity of misery, brother. Just like I promised.

Stefan

You had Alaric compel you to forget every good thing that Damon ever did. You made him a monster in your own mind because you couldn't handle the grief of losing him.

Elena

I don't believe anything that you're saying. Why would I do that?

Stefan

Because you were in love with him, and he was in love with you. And when Damon died, a part of you died, too.

Elena

Wow. Oh, God, what? No. No, Stefan...how could I possibly love Damon?

Stefan

Believe me, I asked myself that for a very long time. And eventually, I saw it. Damon inspired you. He pushed you to own the darkest parts of yourself. And when you died, he was the only one that could make you feel alive again, and you made him feel human. You loved Damon for the same reasons that I love Damon. Because in spite of every single thing that he did, we couldn't live without him. And now, you don't have to, but I do. So, I'm gonna do it my way. You do it yours.

Stefan

Damon?

Damon

Yep. In the flesh.

Stefan

How am I seeing you right now?

Damon

Because I'm not dead, Stefan. (gestures to the liquor bottle) I mean, this stuff's good, but it's not "I see dead people" good.

Stefan

So how did you get back?

Damon

Long story, big flash of light, two decades worth of jet lag - I will explain all of my adventures in that flannel hellscape, but first, there's someone I got to go see.

Stefan

Look. He's been trapped over there alone for months. He just wants to see you.

Elena

Look. I get how I'm supposed to feel, but I know how I actually feel and I'm happy now. What if I look at him and my old feelings break through the compulsion?

Stefan

Well, they won't, but even if they did, is that such a bad thing?

Elena

Stefan...I kissed Liam last night.

Stefan

Oh, please forget that you told me that and definitely do not tell Damon that.

Elena

Because he's gonna kill him, right?! Just like he killed my brother.

Stefan

I was going to say because he'll be heartbroken.

Damon

(about Elena) Ric said she's happy without me since she's erased me. You know what? I don't want her to be happy. I want her to be miserable, just like I am.

Stefan

(pauses) You done?

Damon

Yeah. I'm done.