(voice-over) Dear Diary, so here I am alive. Stefan saved me from killing myself. Now he's got me on suicide watch. He says it will be therapeutic for me to write down my feelings about the fact that I'm dying and there's nothing I can do about it. Deep thoughts, mortal coil, blah, blah, blah. Ugh. My hand's tired. (to Stefan) What kind of sentimental idiot writes down everything hey feel? Is this what the prophecy meant when it said that all the Doppelgängers were drawn together like magnets? Because if it is, I any my money back.
StefanI'm just trying to make sure you don't slit your wrists.
Well, this whole neurotic granny vibe doesn't exactly make me want to live. Do you really have nothing better to do than stand there all day and watch me write in cursive?
Stefan
I'm trying to make sure you don't kill yourself.
And how are you going to do that, you know, since you're still having your little panic attacks?
Stefan
I'm fine.
Yeah. Of course. You are the picture of mental health, Stefan, after being locked for 3 months in a safe at the bottom of a quarry.
Stefan
I am dealing with it.
I know. I mean, I heard you "dealing" with it earlier today in the library. It sounded like you freaked out and broke a chair, maybe even two. How are you supposed to help me stay alive if you can't even help yourself?
Stefan
So does this mean you want to live?
No. It means that I can't work with people who can't give me 100%.
Stefan
Where the hell have you been?
Aw, you know, being held against my will, shot in the head, and now I can't find Elena. How was your evening? Anything out of the ordinary happen?
Stefan
Wait a minute. What do you mean you can't find Elena?
I mean, she's not picking up her phone, she's not in her dorm, she's nowhere in this house, which leads me to believe that Dr. Creepy Ken doll has her somewhere.
Stefan
Are you talking about the Whitmore bio teacher?
Yeah, the one that operates on vampires during business hours, yeah, that one. Put your hero hair on, Stefan. Let's go get Elena.
Stefan
You just said you don't know where she is.
I don't, which means we're gonna have to find us some leverage. So come on.
Rumor has it she burnt down the entire city of Atlanta once.
Stefan
All right. Knock it off or take it somewhere else. You guys are being insensitive.
Come on, Stefan. Don't let the sight of a frail, human, Elena look-alike cloud your memories of the manipulative psycho that she is.
Stefan
In 1864, Katherine moved into my home, she compelled me to love her, seduced my brother, fed us full of vampire blood, and then started a war with the town that got us killed.
Stefan
But centuries before that, she was just an innocent girl who was shunned by her family, so for 500 years, she lied and manipulated and did whatever she had to do survive, and she did. She's a survivor, right. So that's the girl that I will drink to today. Cheers.
Please. One night of hot sex with her, and your brainwashed?
Oh, my-- I forgot to tell you. You were kidnapped and hostages and--
Stefan
Bottle's empty actually.
That's why you never send a busboy to do a man's job. Nadia, the devil's spawn. Hey, Caroline. Did you remember to tell Elena that?
I think my mind just exploded.
Stefan
Guess it's a good thin I'm not claustrophobic anymore.
That's what Katherine helped you with-- Silas aftermath.
Stefan
She did.
Can I just hate her anyway?
Stefan
You can.
Stefan
But I don't. I know I should, but for some reason, I keep rooting for her to find peace. Katherine's not the only one, you know? Damon keeps pushing you away because he hates himself, who he is, what's he done. Just remember that you never gave up on me, so don't give up on him. Don't let him give up on you either, ok?
Stefan
You know, I was in a dark place, Damon.
And Katherine pulled you out of it. Irony abounds.
Stefan
You know, whatever is going on with you and Elena, you need to fix it. She's the best thing that ever happen to you.
You think I don't know that? I can't live without her... But when you think about it, I'm no better than Katherine. Elena will be happier without me. What, I'm being selfless? Don't give me that look.
Stefan
I'm not giving you a look.
Katherine fricking Pierce has a selfless moment, I'm not allowed to? Fine. Fine. When I get Elena back and the whole universe freaks out because the fated Doppelgängers are torn apart, just remember you-- you're the one that pep talked me out of doing the right thing for the universe and all mankind.
Stefan
I will keep that in mind.
So this anchor thing, does it mean that you'll, like, be able to feel Katherine's death or whatever?
I think so. I mean, she's human, but she's also a Doppelgänger and Traveler apparently.
So who else do you see over there? Anybody I know?
I see lots of people. My Grams, the other witches. Vicki. I just don't talk about it, you know, I just--
Because it's depressing as hell. Tell Matty I love him.
She's here. She said she loves you.
Tell him that I watch over him and no more knocking around with that blond original chick who almost got him killed.
Wait. Wait. What's happening? What am I missing?
Rebekah says to tell you that I'm her parting gift. Hey, Care.
Stefan
We've really gone through four bottles of bourbon today?
Can someone really tell these idiots to lay off the booze?
Where the hell have you been? I thought you bailed on us to go find peace or something.
Do you honestly think I'd leave Damon in charge and never look back?
He's talking about me, isn't he?
Ding-dong. Does that mean the witch is dead?
No. Uh-uh. It's too soon. I can't.
Stefan
Hey, I need a favor. You know how Damon was trying to be all noble and broke up with Elena?
Of course. There was champagne.
Stefan
Yeah. Well, I kind of convinced him he was an idiot.
Stefan
And now he's in a bit of a mood, and something tells me that he's been trying to get ahold of Elena, but she hasn't been returning his phone calls.
Look. I would love to help if I thought he was actually good for her, but I don't.
Stefan
Caroline, how would you like to be judged solely based on who you're attracted too? Come on.
Why? Do you know something?
Stefan
Why? Should I know something?
I just mean are you sure that this is you really want? You know, Elena and Damon or Damon and Elena, or-- I know that there's a nickname in there somewhere.
Stefan
Listen. I actually think that Elena is good for Damon. She makes him happy, and we all know that when Damon is happy...
He's not out there killing people, which I guess is a plus for mankind.
Stefan
Exactly.
But even if I wanted to help, she's not here. I thought that she was with you.
Stefan
She told me she was staying at Whitmore.
Ok. That's weird. Well, where the hell is she?
Stefan
Hey. When did you get here?
Eh, about 1 1/2 of these ago. You were right. I brought this on myself. I knew the Klaus thing was gonna come with consequences. Guess no I just have to deal with it and learn from my mistakes.
Stefan
Glad I could help. So did you find Matt?
Yes, and Tyler was right. Nadia's been compelling him to forget things.
Stefan
What do you mean? What kind of things?
Who knows? He tried to message me, but Nadia stopped him. "Help. K" was all I got.
Stefan
Huh.
So you and Elena? What's the verdict?
Stefan
Um, well, the verdict is she's acting strange. She kissed me.
Stefan
Yeah. My car broke down, so we got a hotel room so she could shower-
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You guys got a hotel room with a shower?
Stefan
Yeah, but it wasn't like that. I mean, I stopped it obviously. I couldn't do that to Damon.
Yeah, but she could? I just--I don't get it. She knows that would destroy him. What is she doing?
Stefan
That's what I mean. It's like she's given up on Damon, and he thinks that she was trying to get me to kill him tonight.
No. I mean, she may be mad at him, but she would never want him dead.
Stefan
Unless... Matt texted you, "Help. K," before Nadia stopped him. "K," as in Katherine, and when Katherine was dying, Nadia figured out a way to put Katherine's spirit inside Nadia's body.
Yeah, but that didn't happen because Katherine had a change of heart. No. No. You don't think that-- it's impossible that she's be-- we would have noticed. It's Elena. We know her. Oh, my god.
Stefan
We haven't noticed that Katherine's been inhabiting Elena's body for weeks, and that's all you've got to say?
Stefan
And you realize that it was Katherine who broke up with you, it wasn't Elena?
Stefan
So, your little murder spree with Enzo where you killed Aaron, you nearly killed Jeremy, tried to kill Wes but you got infected with that ripper virus-- that was all you reacting to Katherine.
I'm trying to figure out why you decided to tell a starving, bloodthirsty, vampire-feeding ripper that his nemesis is still walking around alive and well while I am stuck in this cell and can't do anything about it.
Stefan
I have it under control.
Caroline, if you bite your tongue any harder, you'll bleed. Say it.
It's Psych 101. Actually it's whatever comes before 101. You told Damon that you couldn't see him anymore, and now you're having dreams about Stefan?
It's not just about Stefan, ok. My parents were still alive. It was like a different life.
(answering phone) Stefan. Hey.
Stefan
Hey.
Stefan
Well, you know how sometimes you feel crazy and you call me and I tell you you're not crazy?
Even thought most of the time I am.
Stefan
Well, I need you to tell me that I'm not crazy.
Stefan
I was walking to my car, and I nearly got plowed over in the middle of the street because I was having some vision of Elena.
I take that back. Actually, you are not crazy at all. Something's going on.
The Vampire Diaries · 1,518 quotes
