Damon Salvatore quotes from The Vampire Diaries

Damon

Enzo! You in here?

Enzo

Don't reckon I'd miss this.

Damon

Because knock it off!

Caroline

It doesn't make any sense. If Enzo wanted to kill Elena, drowning her wouldn't work.

Enzo

Smart girl. See why you like her so much.

Caroline

Maybe he's just trying to scare us.

Enzo

Warmer. (No says anything) Come on! You've almost got it. What is Enzo up to?

Damon

Drowning Elena was just a distraction. He figured out a way to kill us all in one fell swoop.

Enzo

Did I mention that I missed you?

Damon

What did you think I was going to do?

Stefan

What are you talking about?

Damon

When I found out Enzo's dead? Did you think I was gonna go on a rampage, slaughter a bunch of innocent people, go bowling with human head? What'd you think I was gonna do?

Damon

You have Elena participating in squirrel slaughter?

Stefan

Believe me, she's no happier about it than I am.

Damon

Heh heh. She'll shoot your eye out.

Bonnie

He says you promised to bring him back.

Enzo

Uh, you're paraphrasing. He said, quote, I will find a way.

Bonnie

Whatever.

Damon

Hello. Still here, and I know what I said.

Enzo

Bey. Remind him he doesn't have a very good track record for keeping promises.

Bonnie

Please stop talking.

Enzo

The other side is on the brink of collapse. I plan on pestering all of you until I'm safely returned to the land of the living.

Bonnie

You need to fix this before I lose my mind.

Damon

Hey. I'm sorry, ok? I've got two missing Doppelgängers, I've got a Traveler that wants to rid our town of magic, and I've got the friendly banker Mr. Sikes in the coat closet, so escape from the netherworld's gonna have to wait until tomorrow. [Enzo throws a bottle of booze into fireplace]

Bonnie

I think he wants to be penciled in for today.

Damon

Salvatore Boring House.

I'm calling about my people.

Damon

Hey. You found my note. Now listen. Don't be offended, but I can't just give them to anyone, so what do they look like?

They're ragged, beaten down by the world, desperate for a home.

Damon

You just described homeless people, aging hipsters and Matt Donovan.

Damon

Class is in session. First assignment-- anti-magic perimeter. Gilbert, what you got?

Jeremy

I walked around Mystic Falls this morning to see where my Hunter instincts disappeared.

Damon

Meaning what, your biceps shrunk, and your brain got smaller?

Jeremy

Meaning that I have a supernatural urge to kill vampires, so wherever I hated you less, there was no magic.

Elena

(crying) You lied to me!

Damon

Even if I wanted to apologize, you couldn't hear me. So I won't.

Elena

Please don't leave me.

Damon

I don't have a choice, baby. You are the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my 173 years on this earth. The fact that I get to die knowing I was loved, not just by anyone, by you, Elena Gilbert, is the epitome of a fulfilled life. It was never going to get any better than this. I peaked. I love you, Elena.

Elena

Please. Please, come back to me.

Damon

Bye.

Damon

This place is going down, isn't it?

Bonnie

It is. I am sure there are a million other people that we'd both rather be with right now, but...

Damon

Couple thousand at most.

Bonnie

Do you think it'll hurt?

Damon

I don't kn-

Damon

Can I ask why there's not a Bennett witch in the back? I mean, can't Luke whip up a batch of herbs in "Bonnie" flavor?

Elena

You know if I had to drive around with everyone that I've lost, I'd need a school bus.

Damon

Or you just know that Bonnie would agree with Luke. The last thing you would do is conjure up someone who's gonna tell you the truth.

Elena

Can we not talk about this?

Damon

About what? The fact that I'm dead? Cuz I am...

Elena

Technically, you were dead when we met.

Damon

Good point! Now I'm just gone. Poof!

Elena

Damon, please don't say that.

Damon

And this conversation is pretty much the smart, level-headed you talking to the irrational, possible drug addict you. Which is clear evidence of your insanity.

Elena

You know I want to see you, Damon. But it makes me reckless. I- I hurt people...

Elena

I never got to say thank you.

Damon

For what?

Elena

For saving Stefan, and...bringing back Alaric and Tyler... Thank you.

Damon

Elena-

Elena

No, I'm not done yet, I'm... I want to thank you for giving me everything I always wanted. A love that consumed me, and passion...adventure... There's nothing more I could ever want other than for it to last forever, but...it can't. This is the last time I'm gonna see you. This is goodbye, Damon. I love you. I have to let you go.

Elena

I- no, I...I said goodbye, Damon...

Damon

I don't blame you. You know what's waiting for you... How long before you go running back to Luke, hm?

Elena

No, I told you that was the last time, Damon. I-I'm done!

Damon

An eternity of torment, agony, grief, and you'll feel it all.

Elena

Stop it, Damon, stop it, stop it, you're getting in my head... Don't do this, please...

Damon

You're gonna feel it forever...

Elena

NO!

Bonnie

Everyday I tell you I hate that...

Damon

And everyday, I do it anyway.

Damon

Alright, talk me through it.

Bonnie

Before the Other Side collapsed, my grams said that she'd made a sacrifice so that I could find peace...

Damon

The part where you actually have a theory.

Bonnie

Well, this clearly isn't peace, otherwise I wouldn't be stuck here with you.

Damon

Rude.

Bonnie

Would a little support kill you?

Damon

You know, I am acutely aware that we are in some other-worldly time dimension, however - did you ever think, for one second, that maybe it's you being negative reacting to my natural self negative-ly?

Bonnie

You're ridiculous.

Damon

Nope, I'm consistent.

Damon

You've got to be kidding me. Bonnie, look at the date on that paper.

Bonnie

It says May 10th, 1994. It's the same day as yesterday. We're living this same day...all over again.

Damon

Well, that proves it. We're in hell. My own person, custom-built hell. And you're in it with me.