Habib quotes from The Thin Blue Line

Habib

[tipsy, speaking to her fireman date] Are you not coming in for a coffee? I've got a packet of condoms...I mean, biscuits.

Habib

Hello gorgeous, ooh I love a man in a uniform! *gasp* Is that a truncheon in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me? (blows Goody a kiss)

Goody

(almost unable to speak) Actually, it's a Mars Bar.

Habib

Well it is Christmas. How about calling him Noel?

Goody

That is a great idea, because Noel Edmonds is the spirit of Christmas, isn't he?

Habib

Which came first: the chicken, or the egg?

Goody

I know, I know!

Fowler

Do you, Goody? Then what is the answer?

Goody

Because it wanted to get to the other side.

Men! Tiny-brained, sexually-frustrated, emotionally retarded, inadequate, puerile, juvenile, drooling, leering, sneering, pointless bloody men!

Habib

Could be half the blokes I know.

Fowler

We wish to subdue the hooligan before he becomes violent. We can achieve this by setting up a rhythmic beating on our shields, such as to strike terror into the hearts of the enemy, as once did the Zulus - an adversary the British Army truly appreciated.

Habib

I'm not surprised - the Zulus had rhythmic beating, the British had field artillery. I bet they appreciated it!

Fowler

All right, Habib. Just because something is morally inexcusable does not stop it being a cherished part of the national fabric. Look at the Walnut Whip.

Fowler

Well done everybody, that should scare the socks off them!

Habib

And after we've subdued them with pat-a-cake pat-a-cake we should give them a chorus of Baa-Baa Black Sheep. That will really make them fill their trousers!

Fowler

Do you think we need to toughen up our chants?

Habib

Either that or hire ourselves out for children's parties.