Men! Tiny-brained, sexually-frustrated, emotionally retarded, inadequate, puerile, juvenile, drooling, leering, sneering, pointless bloody men!
Could be half the blokes I know.
[telling Fowler that the domineering mayoress, Dame Cristabelle, has arrived] The world's finest example of womanhood is at the front desk.
Gloria Hunniford!
[The force is practicing in anticipation of a riot at the football game]
We wish to subdue the hooligan before he becomes violent. We can achieve this by setting up a rhythmic beating on our shields, such as to strike terror into the hearts of the enemy, as once did the Zulus - an adversary the British Army truly appreciated.
I'm not surprised - the Zulus had rhythmic beating, the British had field artillery. I bet they appreciated it!
All right, Habib. Just because something is morally inexcusable does not stop it being a cherished part of the national fabric. Look at the Walnut Whip.
[After practicing beating their riot shields to the tune of pat-a-cake]
Well done everybody, that should scare the socks off them!
And after we've subdued them with pat-a-cake pat-a-cake we should give them a chorus of Baa-Baa Black Sheep. That will really make them fill their trousers!
Do you think we need to toughen up our chants?
Either that or hire ourselves out for children's parties.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Thin Blue Line pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.