(The Mail are revealing that Ben Swain was racist to a cleaner)
I've been leaking for 27 years, I know how it's done, I leaked it!
You don't leak! Well not from the mouth, anyway.
You fucking shut up. At least this is Hugh's Glenn. All that you are, mate, is fucking Ben's Glenn.
(deleted scene)
Guardian Online, right?
Yes.
I notice they got Tom to do the questionnaire.
What, trying to make himself look more like a human being and less like a calculator with Aspergers? What does he say?
'When were you happiest?' 'At the birth of my son.'
Bollocks, he wasn't even at the birth of his son. Actually no, he was in an all-night sitting of the Communications Bill, fast asleep. And his sister-in-law woke him with a text.
'What was the last CD you bought?' 'The Scissor Sisters'. (Glenn laughs.) And do we believe him? 'Which living person do you most admire?'
Er, well that's tough. Nelson Mandela?
Correct! I think you just press F5 for that one, to be absolutely honest with you. 'How do you relax?' 'Cannabis and wanking'?
He hasn't.
No of course he hasn't, you idiot, 'Listening to opera'.
Oh, right.
While wanking.
(deleted scene)
Why tonight of all fucking nights, why tonight?
Oh well, that's easy: Tucker's Law. 'If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck up because that cunt's a cunt.' I've got that embroidered on a tea towel at home.
More from this episode
All quotes from this episode →More The Thick Of It quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Thick Of It pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.