[Ollie is in the car with Glenn & Hugh. The hree of them are discussing policy ideas while traveling.]
All right. So...what the hell am I gonna say is the reason for me summoning all the nation's major news organisations to a school in Wiltshire?
So you want something sexy and eye-catching, and that is free and universally popular and instantly applicable, no one can possibly object to it.
Yep.
Right.
Yes.
[to Glenn] Well, really, you should've said something before, Glenn, because I've got a file about that fucking thick of that back in the office. Absolutely huge. Those sorts of policies are ten a penny.
[getting mad] Ollie!
Our entire manifesto is more or less made up of...
[settling down] You know, it really doesn't help when you get cynical. You should think of this as an opportunity.
It's not that easy to come up with Das Kapital in the back of a cab, Glenn.
[intervening] Ollie.
[to Hugh, handing him an electric razor] Here, shave.
[As Hugh shaves his face, everybody settles down and gets back to the task at hand.]
What we need is something that the public want, is incredibly popular and is free.
Return of capital punishment.
[unimpressed] That's a joke, right? You are joking, yes, obviously? Come on, Ollie, come up with something.
National spare room database.
[Nobody has any ideas yet -- UNTIL...]
What about zoos? My kids went to a zoo, you know, the other day and they said-they said it was fucking disgusting. You know, the state of it. [beat] That's shit, isn't it?
[nodding] No...but there is an idea there, because in the middle of the city, you've got wild animals.
Pet ASBOs? Do you remember that? ASBOs for pets?
Well, you see, that sounds potentially ludicrous. But then pet passports, I mean, that was a...that was a goer.
What if everybody had to carry a plastic bag? By law? You know, the identification cards are coming in...
[appalled] You've fucking cracked! Are you mad?
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