Spider-Man quotes from The Spectacular Spider-Man

Spider-Man

You do this for a living? With that accent [In a western accent] I was thinkin' rodeo clown.

Don't you mock me, boy!

Spider-Man

I mock. I'm a mocker.

Spider-Man

Heheh. Good thing I refilled the web shooters. Oh, all webbed up and nowhere to go.

Heh. Who do you think I am? Flint Marko? [transforms himself into sand and slides through the web]

It's over, Spider-Man. When you were the only one with powers, you had me beat! But now, King Sandman reigns supreme!

Spider-Man

Your Majesty! Allow me to build a statue in your honor! [covers Sandman with cement]

Rhino

What do you think? I'm stupid?

Spider-Man

Well, you are dressed stupid.

Spider-Man

Come one, come all! Before your very eyes, the world's largest dehydrated turtle!

Rhino

[wearily] I swear I'm gonna crush you... promised Big Man I'd crush you… crush you… crush you… crush you…

Spider-Man

Are we losing it a bit, Alexander?

Rhino

Only Mama calls me Alexander… you're not my Mama! Not my Mama… Mama…

Spider-Man

Yes, I think we are.

Rhino

[half unconscious] Mama… do I have to go to school?

Spider-Man

So, Alexander, tell Mama… who's the Big Man?

Rhino

Ixnay… we don't ever use the "B" word… call him… "Mr. Lincoln"…

Spider-Man

I'm here to see Mr. Lincoln.

Then you should make an appointment. But perhaps we can make an exception for the hero of the day. I am L. Thompson Lincoln.

Spider-Man

Please, you're the Big Man!

In my life, I've been called many names. My favorite… is "Tombstone".

Spider-Man

Back off! I just took down the Rhino. A pale guy in a suit doesn't stand a…

Tombstone

Don't move. Just listen. And I'll teach you the facts of life. The Big Man, whomever he might be, has nothing against heroes. No hero can thwart enough crime to dent his income. But you... you frighten criminals off the streets entirely. Except when you're off battling the like of the Rhino. Then the Big Man's profitable army of petty thugs think themselves beneath the Spider-Man's notice.

Spider-Man

So as long as I keep fighting crime, you'll keep making bigger and badder…

Tombstone

Now, you're learning. But there is a way out. Come work for me. You can still save the world like a good hero. I'll even pay you. All you have to remember is to look the other way on occasion. On any occasion I choose.

Spider-Man

I can't ever look the other way again. Let's finish this.

Tombstone

[sigh] If you insist. [Buzzes two cops into the room] Officers, Spider-Man has trespassed on my property, assaulted my employees and threatened my person.

Spider-Man

Hey, did I mess up your costume? Leave off the threads, Emerald Elf, and that's an order!

Green Goblin

Ah, but the Green Goblin doesn't take orders from insects. The Green Goblin swats them into oblivion!

Spider-Man

Now, see, that's a common misconception. Spiders are actually arachnids--

Spider-Man

Uh-oh!

Tombstone

What do you hope to accomplish here tonight?

Green Goblin

So the whole "wanting to destroy you and take over your empire" thing wasn't clear? Well, darn.

Spider-Man

Uh… yoo-hoo! Excuse me. Can I come in this way or do I have to break my own window?

Spider-Man!

Tombstone

Your timing is impeccable.

Spider-Man

So, your latest super-loser turned on you, huh, Toomie?

Tombstone

I don't know who he is... yet! But he's not in my employ.

Spider-Man

That's okay. I can always pretend he's yours while I trounce him. I'll still feel all warm inside.

Green Goblin

Hell-ooo! I'm in the room! Really, you're both too rude!

Spider-Man

Oh, where are my manners? Here you come to terrorize the Tombster and I don't even say thank you. My only excuse is that you're holding innocent people hostage! It's confusing to my poor spider-brain.

Green Goblin

Mmm, yes, quite the puzzler. But the Green Goblin has a solution: you and I join forces! Consider what we could accomplish by combining our powers! WE COULD RULE NEW YORK!

Spider-Man

Are we talking Manhattan, or all five? Nah, sorry. I make it a rule not to partner with anyone green. Or, you know, psychotic.

Green Goblin

[sighs] Oh well, your loss... of life!

Spider-Man

NOW what's so funny?

Green Goblin

Just a special fire and brimstone pumpkin I left behind, as a present for our "Mr. Lincoln." Any minute now, the creme de la creme of New York City is going to paint the town red! Well, the ballroom anyway.

Otto Octavius

I will not be weak.

Norman Osborn

Otto, get up…

Otto Octavius

Silence, you imperious moron!

Spider-Man

Whoa, there, slinky! Mr. Osborn here helped save your life!

Otto Octavius

You!

Spider-Man

For the record, I helped save your life too.

Otto Octavius

Do not insult my intelligence, *hero*. You tracked me down and tried to destroy me! As I knew you would.

Spider-Man

Destroy you? Pal, I don't even know you.

Otto Octavius

Oh, but I survived. And more to the point, I have improved. I am now one with my arms. Oh, you failed, Spider-Man! And your failure has given me new life.

Norman Osborn

Otto…

Otto Octavius

Otto Octavius was weak. Call me… Doctor Octopus!

Spider-Man

Look, Doc, have you thought this through? The next Spider-Man who finds you buried under a pile of debris might view this as a cautionary tale!

Doctor Octopus

[slamming him to the ground with one of his arms] Glib.. does not... equate... with clever, Spider-Man!

Spider-Man

Yeah, well, the ratio of arms to sanity hasn't exactly been established either.

Doctor Octopus

Do you ever SHUT UP!?

Spider-Man

Sorry, no. My fans expect a certain amount of quippage in every battle.

Doctor Octopus

Hand over the device, you pathetic four-limbed excuse for a spider!

Spider-Man

[chuckling] Oh, you sweet-talker, you!

Green Goblin

[While fighting with Spidey] We both want Tombstone out of the picture– [Gets elbowed in the face]

Spider-Man

For completely different reasons!

Green Goblin

Details, details. And speaking of details, I've got a jump-drive with enough incriminating evidence to put Tombstone down for good!

Spider-Man

Great! Fork it over, I'll turn you both in!

Green Goblin

Ah, ah, ah! I don't have it on me, but I will have it tonight!

Spider-Man

When tonight? Where?

Green Goblin

[to the camera] Anyone else getting déja vu? Oh, well! Let's run with it! [to Spidey] Believe me, you'll know.

Green Goblin

Why don't you just GIVE UP?!

Spider-Man

Because I know your secret! I know whose face is behind that mask!

Green Goblin

We all wear masks, Spider-Man. But which one is real? The one that hides your face, or the one that is your face?

Spider-Man

I know you're Norman Osborn!

Green Goblin

[laughs] Am I?

Spider-Man

This makes no sense. If Har... If this kid's the Goblin, why would he attack the Big Man? Why attack OsCorp?

Norman Osborn

I've had "dealings" with the Big Man. But when I tried to extricate myself, I was threatened by his stooge.

Harry Osborn

Hammerhead.

Norman Osborn

Harry must have overheard. Under the influence of the Green, his subconscious created someone who could take the Big Man down. Now, as to why he attacked me...

Harry Osborn

Maybe I've got some anger issues.

Norman Osborn

I will not allow this. I'll say I was the Goblin. After all, I invented the Green. I'm the obvious suspect.

Spider-Man

No. He needs you. And what good could you do him locked away for a crime you didn't commit?

Norman Osborn

Didn't I? This is all my fault. I drove Harry to ... I will get him help, I swear. If you'll let me.

Spider-Man

Me?

Norman Osborn

If you turn him in, if the Big Man learns Harry was the Goblin, he wouldn't survive the night. Please. He's my only child.

Spider-Man

[to himself] And my best friend. [to Osborn] The Goblin disappears. Forever. Leaving a mystery that never gets solved.

Norman Osborn

Thank you.