TV QuotesDatabase
S6

The Simpsons · Season 6

Homer and Grampa in “Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy”

Dad, how come you never gave me any encouragement? Maybe I could’ve been something more than I am. Like a travel agent, to a great scientist, or the inventor of a hilarious refrigerator alarm.

Who are you to complain? You locked me up in a home and give me the same damn shower safety seat every Christmas.

[in the car]

Your whole life, you've never said one nice thing to me.

That's cause you're a screw-up.

You're the screw-up!

Why you little... [proceeds to strangle Homer, who eventually thrusts him away]

All right! All right, that's it! We're going home! I'm sick of you and your stupid tonic.

If I hadn't take that stupid tonic 38 years ago, you'd have never been born and I would have been happy! YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT!

[Homer gasps and stops the car]

[angry] GET OUT.

I'm sorry I said that.

[still angry] OUT.

[gets out of the car] I'm going to get out of the car and I hope you find it in your heart not to drive aw-

[Homer drives off, preventing Grampa from finishing his sentence]

Well, I'll be alright as long as I can remember my army training. [scene cuts to middle of the night with Grampa still stranded on the same stretch of open road] Dang! [a lone wolf is heard howling in the distance]

More from this episode

All quotes from this episode →

More The Simpsons quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Simpsons pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.