[About Bart's fake love letters to Mrs. Krabappel]
Bart, you did a very cruel thing.
Boy, you've got to go to your teacher and tell her the truth.
No, Homer, the truth will humiliate her!
Oh, Marge, I only said it because I thought that's what you wanted to hear!
Maybe we should write her another letter. One that says goodbye, but lets her feel loved.
Step aside, everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty! [writing on paper] "Dear Baby. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You."
We'll all help.
[Later]
"Though I'll be inoculating babies in Kampuchea, my heart will always be with you."
That sucks. How about "crocodiles bit off my face"?
That's disgusting! And besides, when a woman lives a man, it doesn't matter that a crocodile bit off his face.
I may hold you to that, Marge.
[Even later]
Okay, okay - "I cannot see you for the next five years, for I will be farming the ocean floor."
[imitates buzzer] EEGH! "I must finish this letter quickly, for I have only four minutes to live."
Three simple words: "I am gay!"
Homer, for the last time, I am not putting that in.
[Even later, as Maggie sleeps]
"And anytime I hear the wind blow, it will whisper the name 'Edna'."
[writing it down] Oh, that's very good, Lisa.
"P.S., I am gay."
[Marge and Lisa grumble]
How shall we end it?
How about "with a love that will echo through the ages"?
[impressed] Awww!
Oh, that's sweet!
Homer, you old honey-dripper!
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