“Treehouse of Horror XVIII” quotes from The Simpsons

Marge

Tonight, we have three terrifying tales of the... [sees the American Idol logo] Excuse me. [sucks it up with a medium vacuum cleaner] Now, our first glory story is... [sees the NFL on FOX logo] Oh, for crying out loud! [pepper sprays the football players and the logo]

Marge

Can't anyone just watch the show they're watching? [kills the police officer in "Cops" with a tool, staples Jack Bauer with a watermelon, and microwaves Dr. House, then shows the feast that serves the family] Dinner is served!

Marge

We can't have a space creature living in our house.

Homer

Crème brûlée! Crème brûlée! Or, in English: Burnt cream! Burnt cream!

Marge

Homie, I made you my killer lasagna.

It's poisoned! Whatever you do, don't eat it!

Okay, you're already eating it. Just don't finish it!

Okay, you finished it. But don't ask for--

Homer

Seconds, please!

You moron! Just kill her!

Homer

[to brain] I'll kill her after dessert!

Marge

All those nights I thought you were out getting drunk, you were out killing people?!

Homer

I was out getting drunk, then killing people!

Homer

Now all I have to do is think of a clever line before I pull the trigger. [Thinks.] Oh, that’s a perfect one. But I don’t need to say it out loud ‘cause I’m by myself.

Homer

[transforms into spaghetti on the "Gluttony" stage] More bread, please.

Homer

[in the "Sloth" stage] I thought I was killed by that magic spaghetti. [naps, shreds into pieces on a hammock]