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The Rockford Files quotes

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The Rockford Files
All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

LKLarry 'King' Sturtevant

[at police HQ where Rockford is being held on suspicion of murder] And then I held him at, ah, gunpoint for ten, fifteen minutes, and then you guys showed up. [he nods his head at Beth, who is staring at him blankly] Hi. [he turns back to Becker grinning] Will you take a look at her! She's so starstruck she's speechless!

Is that everything? The whole statement?

LKLarry 'King' Sturtevant

Yeah, yeah that's it. [he turns back to Beth] Ah, listen honey, try not to stare. I know it's difficult, but why don't you just relax and later the two of us will go get some coffee. I'll let you look at my scrapbook, hah?

That'd be lovely, only I gave up reading the funnies in the third grade.

Now I like you a lot Jim, but I don't like you that much, so keen judgment and an eye toward good health demand that I skate on this thing. I know you understand!

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

CCaller

[beeep] Jim, it's Harry. We've been waiting on you two hours. The forks! Where's the forks? Lasagna ain't no finger food!

Two years ago when I first met you, I thought, 'This is the one', and I took out my little lariat and I swung it over my head and I took dead aim, and I tossed. I must have thrown it 50 times since then. But I gotta hand it to you, Jim, you're a tough catch. Sometimes, I don't know, last year I guess, I sort of settled for friend and I started looking for someone with more long-range possibilities. David looked like a good candidate.

Thanks, but I'm still jealous.

[to Beth] Well you know honey, when you take a chance on someone, you gotta be ready to get hurt. That doesn't mean you should stop taking chances. If you stop, you're really through.

DDDave Delaroux

Say are you absolutely certain that those checks are in the ledger? I mean you're sure you didn't make a mistake or misread them, did you?

Yeah, I'm sure. You know something Dave, you're beginning to get on my nerves.

DDDave Delaroux

Well, what I meant was...

I said they're there, they're there. Now I will give you a signed affidavit. Beth here can notarize it in the presence of one of the waiters, if we can get one to come to the table, okay?

DDDave Delaroux

[Snaps his fingers, and a waiter immediately comes to their table] Would you take this gentleman's order, please?

Forget it, lost my appetite.

It's just progress, Mr. Hanson. Marketing and promotion, those are the watchwords of today's progressive businessman, Mr Hanson.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

CCaller

[beeep] Sorry Jim, this is for Rocky. Hey Rock, Stan. Got that red head and her sister, 10:30 at Macy's Grill!

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

CCaller

[beeep] Mr. Rockford, Miss Miller of the Bartlett Book Club. "Great Detectives of America" is not in stock, so we sent you "Cooking Made Easy". Hope you enjoy it.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

CCaller

[beeep] Jim, Sally. Hey, I just found out you're an Aries. Listen, if you have Virgo rising, give me a call...

We're going to start doing things my way now.

CCaine

You realize of course that's blackmail!

It's just business.

[at a restaurant with a Lloyds of London representative discussing his reward for having helped recover stolen diamonds] Mr. Cryder, I don't want to seem anxious, but I was wondering about my five percent recovery fee?

CCryder

Ohhh yes. I called my people at Lloyds, they agreed.

[smiling] Five percent, a million dollar's worth of jewelry, that's fifty thousand dollars, isn't it?

CCryder

Yes... Unfortunately, each of the cormorants was insured for fifteen thousand making a total of forty-five thousand.

Well, what has one got to do with the other?

CCryder

Well, they feel that since you were hired to protect them, and since all three were destroyed, that you should... bear the loss...

That's preposterous!

CCryder

Unfortunately, that is how they... feel. So, ah, forty-five thousand from fifty thousand leaves five thousand...

Well, I didn't break the damn things!

CCryder

...I've been doing some preliminary figuring... Now from the five thousand there's of course, ah, English inheritance and English income taxes. [he starts subtracting on a pad of paper] Ah yes, we will have to inform your IRS. [he chuckles] And there's the rate of exchange to consider and, oh yes, then there's...

One minute, just one minute.

CCryder

Yes?

Do you think there's going to be enough for me to pick up this tab?

CCryder

I really don't know, Mr. Rockford, that depends... Do you intend to keep on drinking?

CClerk

Can't you read the sign?

Oh yeah. Yeah, sure.

CClerk

You're not supposed to take notes.

Yeah, I know, I know. But you see, I can't remember all this without taking notes.

CClerk

But it's not allowed!

Ya I know... you didn't make the rule.

CClerk

I'm going to call the police.

Well, I suppose you have to. Sorry I'm gonna miss 'em. I'm almost through here.

Where'd you learn to talk like that?

SSSteve Sorenson

Harvard Law School.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

CCaller

[beeep] Uncle Jim? It's Ralph. I got your letter, but I moved out here anyway. I really want those detective lessons!

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