Yes, your honor. The defense is rather impressed at the speed with which the county was able to amass this formidable display of evidence. But it is my client's contention that all of it is either irrelevant, circumstantial, fabricated, and/or falsified.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
VSVern Soper
I stop to help you out, and all I get for it is complaints.
And fifty bucks.
VSVern Soper
Yeah, well...
This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
CCaller
'[beeep] Hi, Jim, it's Jamie at the police impound. They picked up your car again. Lately, they've been driving it more than you have!
GBAgent Gary Bettingen
Gee, what are you supposed to be?
[smiling] Well, I'm the messenger who's been sent back here to ask very politely what you're doing following that young lady around?
GBAgent Gary Bettingen
Un huh. Well you're the guy who's going to be checking into County General in about twenty minutes with a busted jaw and a couple of cracked ribs.
No kidding. You're going to do that all by yourself?
GBAgent Gary Bettingen
Yeah, that's right Groucho. All by myself.
Look, I'm trying to be nice. Why do we have to speak to each other in such violent terms, huh?
[Rockford suddenly drives his heel into the other man's foot, then taking him by the head, slams his face down on to the table]
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I guess I should have said one, two, three go, huh?
Agent Gary Bettingen: [reaches inside his jacket, Rockford grabbing his arm, and he slowly pulls out his ID] How'd you like to be booked for assaulting a federal officer?
[the ID says Gary Bettingen, FBI. Rockford smiles sheepishly] Ohhh, look I think I know how we could fix this right now. Why don't I just go and pay my bar bill right now and then fade right out of the picture, huh? You want to say anything to Miss Perris, you just go right ahead.
GBAgent Gary Bettingen
Why don't you do that.
[stands up, still smiling] I will and hey... [offers his hand] if you ever have the chance why don't you just drop around and we'll have a drink. I'd like to make it up to you...
[the agent looks uncertain about accepting a handshake]
No, no, I'm serious! I'm serious! That was a sucker punch. Hey, you'd been ready, you'd probably knocked me silly!
[the man takes his hand and is clobbered by Rockford's left fist, knocking him and his chair on to the floor]
BBarman
Hey! What's going on here?
Here. [throws money on to the bar and taking Angie, quickly leaves the bar room]
Well, I said he had a federal ID. I didn't say he was a fed. He wasn't.
APAngela Perris
How do you know?
Ah, because the picture on his ID was taken against a blue field like your driver's license. Feds have theirs taken against a yellow field. What he did was cut the picture out of his driver's license and paste it into a federal ID, and then encase it in plastic. Nice job, but it was a phony.
APAngela Perris
How can you be so sure?
Oh, because that's what I did.
Why is it every time there's a car wreck on the other side of the divider, all the cars on your side get out to look at it? Are they expecting to see blood?
[sitting at an outdoor table eating an omelet. Agents Shore and Slater walk up to his table] Who's he?
DSAgent Dan Shore
This is Agent Slater
Oh, I guess I should have said "come alone" but it always sounds so melodramatic.
DSAgent Dan Shore
We live in the melodrama capital of the world. Otherwise guys like you wouldn't be able to make a living.
This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
CCaller
Hi sonny, it's Rocky. I got the bill and I've been trying to figure out what everybody owes on LJ's birthday party. Tell me, did you have the Pink Lady?
[Rockford pulls up to the speaker at a Jack in the Box drive-thru]
YMYoung Man
Your order please.
Call the police.
YMYoung Man
Your order, please!
That's it. You got it. There's a guy following me in a white 1974 Datsun, California plates. Tell the police I'll be headed south on Perdugo and for them to intercept.
YMYoung Man
Are you nuts, mister? Is this a joke?
Just tell them he took a shot at me... and while you're at it could you throw in a taco and a bag of fries?
[Kate watches Jim pick the lock at the club]
KKate
That's illegal!
So is what we're about to do.
Your beef is with Jimmy, I had nothing to do with this...
TThompkins
Shut up.
You know, I'm just an innocent bystander.
TThompkins
They're the ones that usually get shot.
DDDep. DA Burton Kimball
I'm about to suggest that Captain Auden suspend your license for a few months.
Go ahead and suggest it.
DDDep. DA Burton Kimball
He could do it.
Yeah. Yeah, and then I'd appeal and there'd have to be a hearing, and what I've been investigating and why would all have to come out in the open. So, unless you're absolutely clean in all this, and I have a hunch you're not, you're gonna have a lot of explaining to do. You wanna finish your conversation?
This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
CCaller
[beeep] It's Jack. The check is in the mail. Sorry it's two years late. Sorry I misfigured my checking account and I'm overdrawn. Sorry I stopped payment on it, so when it comes tear it up. Sorry.
Would you knock off that "Rockfish" stuff? The name is RockFORD!
GGandy
OK, Rockfish.
This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
CCaller
[beeep] Ahorros fantásticos. La única oportunidad en su vida de apreciar Rosario llantas radiales. Call toll free 555-3120.
[Translation: Fantastic savings. The only chance in your life to appreciate Rosario radial tires]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Rockford Files pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.