Men who need glasses sometimes make passes at women who are already their wives.
If your wife's having a good time and you're not, you're still having a better time than if you're having a good time and she's not.
If you can't stay young, you can at least stay immature.
Campfire songs
Oh, the mountain is high and the valley is low / It's the laws of nature that make it so / If the valley is high and the mountain is low / You're either upside-down or drunk, or both.
A horse with a horn is called a unicorn / A horse with stripes is called a zebra / A horse with wings is called Pegasus / And a horse with a broken leg is called glue.
Oh, your hands are connected to your arms / Your arms are connected to your shoulders / Your shoulders are connected to your body / Your body is connected to your head / Oh, your head is connected to... nothing... / Which explains a lot.
Oh, hats off to my science teachers / They were absolutely right after all / 'Cause I just threw a fridge off my roof / And cold air definitely falls.
Oh, you never see a vampire with a full-grown beard / Yet a vampire can't see his reflection / So a lack of facial hair is unbelievably weird / 'Cause you'd think shaving would be out of the question.
Trapper Jack was hunting bear / A dangerous hobby at best / We brought him back to the doctor in town / And he was a heck of a mess / There was some assembly required / Mostly teeth and bones and hair / Jack had always been good with a knife / But unfortunately, not quite as good as the bear.
Sometimes I get to thinkin' / About all the mistakes I've made / All the people I've hurt / And all the bills I haven't paid / Sometimes I get to thinkin' / I should change and get on the ball... / But then I turn on the ol' TV and I don't get to thinkin' at all.
Oh, they're weighin' the fish at the fish weigh-in / Down at Mercury Creek / First prize is a boat and a thousand bucks / For the biggest fish of the week / I caught me a nice little sunfish / It's gonna make me a winner / Not from the weight of the fish itself / But from the ball bearings I fed it for dinner.
Oh, it looks like there's trouble brewing / At campsite number ten / Old Man Sedgewick is grillin' a fish / And his tent's on fire again / The couple at number fifteen / Their marriage has gone kaput / I don't mind the shouting and swearing / But their trailer bounced right on my foot / There's gunfire off in the distance / At campsite number six / Which proves what we knew all along / That relatives and hunting don't mix / So I'm packing up in the morning / If I stayed I'd be a lunatic / 'Cause all this shouting, swearing and gunfire / Has made me unbelievably, incredibly homesick.
Possum Lodge Word Game
What word comes to mind when you think of bone china or crystal?
EMEdgar Montrose
Oops!
Let's say your wife is planning a fancy dinner--
KFC!
This is what normal people drink.
RGRanger Gord
Beer.
Um, OK, but this has no taste to it.
RGRanger Gord
American beer?
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