Oh, the mountain is high and the valley is low / It's the laws of nature that make it so / If the valley is high and the mountain is low / You're either upside-down or drunk, or both.
“Campfire songs”
In this episode: Red Green (9)
A horse with a horn is called a unicorn / A horse with stripes is called a zebra / A horse with wings is called Pegasus / And a horse with a broken leg is called glue.
Oh, your hands are connected to your arms / Your arms are connected to your shoulders / Your shoulders are connected to your body / Your body is connected to your head / Oh, your head is connected to... nothing... / Which explains a lot.
Oh, hats off to my science teachers / They were absolutely right after all / 'Cause I just threw a fridge off my roof / And cold air definitely falls.
Oh, you never see a vampire with a full-grown beard / Yet a vampire can't see his reflection / So a lack of facial hair is unbelievably weird / 'Cause you'd think shaving would be out of the question.
Trapper Jack was hunting bear / A dangerous hobby at best / We brought him back to the doctor in town / And he was a heck of a mess / There was some assembly required / Mostly teeth and bones and hair / Jack had always been good with a knife / But unfortunately, not quite as good as the bear.
Sometimes I get to thinkin' / About all the mistakes I've made / All the people I've hurt / And all the bills I haven't paid / Sometimes I get to thinkin' / I should change and get on the ball... / But then I turn on the ol' TV and I don't get to thinkin' at all.
Oh, they're weighin' the fish at the fish weigh-in / Down at Mercury Creek / First prize is a boat and a thousand bucks / For the biggest fish of the week / I caught me a nice little sunfish / It's gonna make me a winner / Not from the weight of the fish itself / But from the ball bearings I fed it for dinner.
Oh, it looks like there's trouble brewing / At campsite number ten / Old Man Sedgewick is grillin' a fish / And his tent's on fire again / The couple at number fifteen / Their marriage has gone kaput / I don't mind the shouting and swearing / But their trailer bounced right on my foot / There's gunfire off in the distance / At campsite number six / Which proves what we knew all along / That relatives and hunting don't mix / So I'm packing up in the morning / If I stayed I'd be a lunatic / 'Cause all this shouting, swearing and gunfire / Has made me unbelievably, incredibly homesick.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Red Green Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.