Oscar quotes from The Proud Family

Warning: The flames you see burning are real.

Those flames are not real. Watch. [sticks his hand in the flames and is burned to a crisp] See, nothing happened. [disintegrates from the flames] Trudy, call the doctor.

Suga Mama

You know what I could have bought for a hundred and twenty five dollars in my day?

A chariot? A painted wagon? A brontosaurus burger? [laughs]

Suga Mama

You better find my son's car!

Penny

So what you gonna do, Trudy? Ground me as usual? I don't care. I'll do the time.

Oh, you'll be doing the time alright, but you won't be doing it here like I am. You're going to boot camp!

Trudy

Oscar, I can't do this anymore. I think we need professional help.

Trudy, I'm not going to marriage counseling. We can work things out on our own. Please don't leave me!

Trudy

Oscar, I'm talking about hiring a housekeeper.

Oh. We can't afford a housekeeper.

Trudy

I can.

Oh, here we go again. It's not my fault the snack business is hurting. But mark my word, pork is on the way back.

Trudy

Oscar, stay with me now. I have to hire someone, especially, since I'm going to be leaving soon.

I said we can work things out, baby. Please don't leave me. I... I'll change... I'll...

Trudy

Relax, baby. I'm only going away for a week. My veterinarian convention is coming up soon, remember?

Of course I do. It's just that I...I can't stand the thought of being away from you for one minute.

Trudy

And I can't stand the thought of what this place is gonna look like the minute I leave.

Trudy

Oscar, we're gonna have to let Rene go.

Are you crazy? Why would you wanna do that?

Trudy

Because she's...perfect.

I thought you wanted someone perfect.

Trudy

I thought I did too, but now I hate it. Since she's been working for us, no one needs me anymore. I feel pushed aside, forgotten.

That's not true, Um...um, don't tell me...uh.

Trudy

Trudy!

Rhymes with "Trudy," Uh... Judy.

Trudy

It's "Trudy"!

Trudy. Oh, right, you're right. [chuckles] Okay, okay, I see your point. Go ahead and tell the agency you're letting her go. But the kids and Suga Mama are really gonna-hate you for this.

Trudy

No they won't. I'll just tell them the honest truth.

And what's that?

Trudy

That you fired her.

Hey!

[to Oscar] Remember what happened last time you asked me to spy on Penny?

Hey! Those charges were dropped!

Dijonay

Hey, Mr. Proud!

Don't "Hey, Mr. Proud" me!

Trudy

Get up, Oscar. We're going to take the twins to the zoo.

Come on, Trudy. The twins don't wanna go to Suga Mama's house!

Suga Mama

Don't worry. Suga Mama's got figgity-fat pockets.

No, you got pockets of figgity-fat!

Trudy, Trudy, hurry up and get in bed.

Trudy

Ooh, Oscar, you're frisky tonight.

No no, come on, now. Not that. Mr. Chips is fixing breakfast tomorrow. Eggs Benedict, Belgian waffles, and my favorite meat, cow porking. That's a beef stuffed, free range chicken, all dressed up in the succulent skin of a pot-bellied pig, deep fried, and cut in the shape of a giblet. Whatever the heck that is. And smothered in ooh-gobs of jelly and gravy. Now that's eating. I can't wait to wake up.

Trudy

You eat that and you'll never wake up. You want me to believe that Mr. Chips told you all of that?

Of course not, Trudy. Monkeys can't talk. He typed up a menu on my computer.

Trudy

Good night, Oscar. [she turn the lamp off] Oscar, baby! You need to shave your legs.

Shave my legs? You need to shave your beard.

Trudy

I do not have a beard, Oscar.

You don't? [Mr. Chips open his eyes in a dark] What the?!...Trudy!

Sunset

I'll send out a APB!

I'll do better than that! I'll send out a I.G.L.O.O! My man, Igloo!

Trudy

Oscar! He's a mall cop!

Trudy

Penny, why aren't you dressed?

Penny

I don't think I can go to school. I don't feel too well. [coughs]

Hey hey now, Stay away from me. Whatever you got, I don't want to catch.

Trudy

You don't feel warm.

Penny

It's not really a fever. [moans] It's my stomach.

Suga Mama

Oh, I know what it was. Those nasty diversity snacks your daddy made.

I'd love to diverse you, Mama.

Suga Mama

Well, then diverse this. [she splashes Oscar with an orange juice]

Ow!

Suga Mama

Why don't you just give her some castor oil, Trudy? That'll clean her out.

Penny

No, Mama, please don't. I'm not that sick, Mama.

Trudy

Well, how sick are you?

Penny

Sick enough not to go to school for...I don't know,...about a week?

Trudy

Oh, I see. Penny Proud, are you trying to get out of the cultural exchange?

Penny

No, I would never do that. I'm just...Yes, ma'am.

Trudy

Penny, why?

Why? She's scared. And, quite frankly, so am I. We don't know anything about those people that they have her staying with.

Trudy

That's the point of the exchange, Oscar. And you, of all people, should know better. I know you weren't raised that way.

Suga Mama

Yes, he was. I would never let my children spend the night with people I didn't know.

Thank you, Mama.

Suga Mama

Not that anyone ever invited Oscar over.

Trudy

Well, Penny is my daughter and...

Excuse me, our daughter! [Trudy roars] I mean, your daughter.

Trudy

Look, Penny, I know you don't understand why you must do this, but I guarantee you, by the end of the week, it'll all be clear to you.

Penny

But, Mama

Trudy

No buts. You're going, and that's that. Now, go pack your things.

Penny

Yes, Mommy dearest.

Trudy

And you two ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

It's her fault. She raised me. [Suga Mama roars, he whimpers]

[singing] LaCienega is the winn-ega!

Penny

[singing] But the contest-a was a-rigged-a!

Trudy! Trudy!...

Trudy

Do not call my name!

What’s wrong with you, Trudy?...Did you know your eyes were glowing and your head was spinning around?

Trudy

Your daughter and your mama are driving me crazy. When I’m not waiting on Penny hand and foot, I’m taking Suga Mama everywhere since she’s unable to drive herself. Now, I have to take care of my daughter, but I can’t handle your mama too now. Oscar, [in scary deep voice] you better do something...NOW!!!

Penny

Daddy, do you know where a thesaurus is?

No, but I know where a dino-status is. We call it Suga Mama. Ha, ha!

Suga Mama

I heard that!