Oscar quotes from The Proud Family

[to Penny when she wants to play boys' football] There's no pain like football pain.

Trudy

Oh, yeah. What about childbirth?

Well, okay, that's worse, but I'm not signing a permission slip for that either.

[to Trudy] How can you be afraid of mice? You're a veterinarian. You give shots to lions and tigers, for crying out loud.

Trudy

I can't help it. It's those beady eyes, that little, those big ears and that boney tail.

Suga Mama

Do you realize you just described Oscar to a "T"?

Well, Margaret, thanks to your stories about how turkeys are enslaved before they're pumped full of steriods, nobody could eat. Except for Bobby.

[singing] I ate it all, y'all. It was good, y'all. Now I need an antacid, y'all!

LaCienega

I'm here for the reward.

Where is Puff?

LaCienega

Oh, you want the dog? So that's how that works.

Trudy

You’d better do something, Oscar, Suga Mama has been here three weeks. It’s time for her to go. I understand she’s been depressed, but enough is enough.

Well what do you want me to do? Just throw my poor mama out?

Trudy

Of course not, Oscar. I would never ask you to throw her out. Show her out, drop breadcrumbs, I don’t care, just get her out of my house!

That’s cold, Trudy.

Penny

Mama, Suga Mama says she’s ready for you to file her corns.

Trudy

That’s it, Oscar. That’s the last bunion. Either she goes or I go. It’s your choice.

Penny

look, for whatever it’s worth I think we owe Suga Mama. Let’s not forget it’s our fault Puff is missing.

Let’s get something straight here: you lost Puff.

Trudy

No, you should have never left him!

If you had just let it be Oscar Day like I had planned, none of this would have ever happened. But No! You just had to go shoppin’!

Trudy

Yes, I had to go shopping! All you do is sit on that couch all day long and whine!

Penny

Stop it! We’re all responsible. None of us cared about Puff, I know I didn’t.

Trudy

None of us did, honey.

I gotta admit. As much as I can’t stand that dog. He’s the only one that could have put up with Suga Mama. If he ever finds his way back, I’ll treat him like the true hero he is. I’ll let him sit in my chair, eat my food and watch his stories anytime he wants.

[to Oscar] According to my record, you missed a flu shot.

Is that all? Just hook me up with a vaccine pop, preferrably cherry.

You don't get a sucker, sucker!

[he blinks his eyes in surprise and Dr. Payne pulls him with his stethoscope] Trudy, help me! Mama, give me something!

Suga Mama

Stop acting like a baby. Be a man!

[to Penny] If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?

Penny

If it was fun!

Fun?!!

Penny

Mommy, Daddy, can I go with my girls to go see the Hip-Hop Helicopter?

Nope.

Penny

Why not, Daddy?

Cause I've seen that show and I know there will be boys there.

Trudy

Oh, Oscar, you're impossible! Do you know there are boys at church too?

Fine. She can't go there either.

Sunset

We need to respect our elders.

No; we need to bury them.

Suga Mama

So, Penny. What costume are you wearing?

Penny

The one I have on. I'm studying tonight.

The only thing you're studying, is how to put on this! See, "SG". You are, duh-da-da-dah, "Snack Girl"!

Penny

Daddy, that costume is "SG". Duh-da-da-dah, "so goofy." I am not wearing it.

Oh, you're wearing it. Or you'll be "SG", duh-da-da-dah, "so grounded."

Penny

No, I'll be "SG", duh-da-da-dah, "so glad."

[about his Proud Snacks] What's wrong with them?

Your face on the wrappers probably scared them.

Hey! Nobody insults Oscar Proud in his own house.

Where do they go to insult you?

Trudy

Well, I was thinking we could have a little party.

Party! Party!

How little of a party?

Trudy

Oh, just a few kids with a petting zoo, a couple of clowns, pony rides, a face painter, a water slide, and a huge Ferris wheel! You know, the usual.

For the last time: Where's the money?

What money? I don't know what you're talking about!

Okay, boys. Help him remember.

Trudy! I'm sorry! Please change the channel! [screaming as he gets beaten up]

Trudy

[to Penny & her cousins] What on Earth were you kids thinking?

Trudy, we know what they were thinking. That's how you drive the truck!

Well, whose idea was this?

Like you gotta ask, Rogaine, it was your little daughter.

Please, Chanel knows better, I’m sure the overweight grub over there had something to do with it.

I know you not talkin’ about my baby! My baby ain’t never taken anything that’s not his!

Except the entire dinner last night. You Prouds are nothing but trouble.

Suga Mama

Girl, you haven’t seen trouble yet, those are figthin’ words!

Trudy!

Suga Mama

What now?

I asked for Trudy, not Howdy Doody. Ha-ha!