[re: downsizing] Am I going to tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. I don't see the point of that. As a doctor, you would not tell a patient if they had cancer.
“Pilot” · Season 1, Episode 1
In this episode: Michael Scott (3), Dwight Schrute (1), Jim Halpert (1), Ryan Howard (1)
People I respect, heroes of mine, would be: Bob Hope, um, Abraham Lincoln, definitely, Bono... uh, and probably God would be the fourth one. And, I just think all those people really, uh, helped the world in so many ways, that it's, um, it's really beyond words. It's really incalculcable.
[points at Dwight's stapler inside the Jell-O] What is that?
That's my stapler.
No, no, no! Do not take it out. You have to eat it out of there, because there are starving people in the world, which I hate, and it is a waste of that kind of food.
OK, you know what? [to Ryan] You can be a witness. Can you reprimand him, please?
[eating cherry Jell-O] How do you know it was me?
It's always you. Are you going to discipline him or not?
Oooh, discipline. Kinky! [chuckles] Alright, here's the deal you guys. The thing about a practical joke is that you have to know when to start and as well as when to stop.
Yeah.
And yeah. Jim, this is the time to stop putting Dwight's personal effects into Jell-O.
OK. Dwight, I'm sorry, because I have always been your biggest flan.
[laughs] Nice. That's the way it is around here. It just kind of goes round and round.
You should've put him in custardy.
Hey! Yes! New guy! He scores.
OK, that's great. I guess what I'm most concerned with is damage to company property. That's all.
Pudding. Pudding... I'm trying to think of another dessert to do.
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