The O.C. · Season 3
Hey, guys, can't talk. I have to go see Dr. Kim.
You in trouble?
Uh, no. I have to change my college file. I got my SAT score.
Summer, we got our SAT scores back months ago.
Well, I took mine late. There was a Valley marathon the first time around.
Oh. How'd you do?
Ryan, come on. You never ask a lady her age, weight or SAT score.
I got a 2300.
[Ryan and Seth stare at her, dumbfounded.]
What? That bad?
What's with all the questions?
Nothing, I'm just trying to exhaust your issues so we can get to mine.
[to Sandy, after watching him flirt with Kirsten] You two are so perfect together it's almost painful to be around.
Did you just wack me with your tuba?
Did you just jab me with your pegleg??!
It was a tap, you little wacker.
It was a jab, you little jabber.
[to Seth] The point is, Summer doesn't want to be you, she wants to be with you.
[Seth, Summer, Ryan, and Marissa are in the diner, discussing how they're going to help Johnny.]
If any of you were remotely Jewish, I would just say we could pool our bar mitzvah money, but... Holy crap, that's it.
What's it?
No, no, no, no, no.
Yes.
No way, dude.
Yes way, dude.
I'm sorry, I can't. I'm not having it.
Having what?
A bar mitzvah.
Ryan gets a bar mitzvah. Now that is funny.
Yeah. Summer's laughing.
No, that's just gas.
[Summer slaps Seth.]
Now, listen to me. This wouldn't be an ordinary bar mitzvah. You know what this would be? Wait for it... A Chrismukkah bar mitzvahkkah. Spell that, dude.
That's crazy.
Yeah, so crazy it just might work.
So, how's this going to work? I'm just going stand in front of Newport and sing Hebrew?
You chant. And hell, yes.
Jews don't believe in saints, just really good stand-up comics.
Ryan doesn't wear glasses.
He does when he's reading from right to left.
[Summer, Seth, Ryan and Marissa are at the nursery choosing Christmas trees]
Look at the branch species. It's like Swiss cheese! Can it withstand heavier ornaments?
[watching Summer choosing trees] So that's a pastime.
[deadpan] Why not? We've been here three hours.
Hey, get in the spirit man. It's Christmukkah. I love Christmukkah.
[smirks] So we've heard.
Seriously, the best thing I've ever done. The Jewish boy wants Christmas. I gave myself that.
You mark my words, this will be the best Christmukkah ever. [kisses Kirsten]
You're beginning to sound like Seth.
Well, it just means you'll listen less when he's gone.
The whole thing about a Bar Mitzvah is it's about becoming a man, not that you aren't one already. But if there were ever a time for an adult moment, this is it. Whatever's going on, set it aside until after tonight.
Will it be wallowing my pride?
I'm not saying it tastes good.
What is this thing you have?
What thing?
Always helping these kinds of guys.
What, the wounded loner types? [Ryan looks down smiling] Sometimes they turn out to be good guys.
If we're gonna launch a successful campaign to get Marissa back into Harbor, we have to find someone who can organize the masses. Someone whom you'll follow, you know, into battle.
Meet General Townsend.
Affirmative.
A good cause, poor odds, a chance to ruffle some Newpsie feathers? How could I say no.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The O.C. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
