Fourteen months ago you went on the air and called the Tea Party the American Taliban.
I did.
And?
The Taliban resented it.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Hey, money skirt!
The day will come when we have an HR rep who cares what goes on on this floor. And on that day, sir, I will dance upon your grave.
Reciting stock quotes and wearing a skirt?
How much time do I have to formulate a comeback?
That was it. The first thing out of your mouth is the comeback - you wasted yours on a question about comebacks. [pause] Fantasy football draft starts in 10 minutes.
I know. I'm the commissioner.
Your parents must be proud.
They are. I was elected unanimously.
You were unopposed - just like when you were elected class treasurer.
That was an important job.
It wasn't.
Why does it have to be like this?
Because you're a nerd and I'm a nerd and you make nerds look bad.
No, I make nerds look good.
Excuse me.
He'll be out in a minute.
I'll come back.
Do I know you?
I'm Jenna Johnson. I just started as an intern.
You look familiar.
[emerging from bathroom] Say "Why is America the greatest country in the world?"
[sighs] Why is America the greatest--
You're the sorority girl!
That's what I'm most famous for.
[to Will] You hired her?
I'm benevolent.
[to Jennifer] There are eight Broadway musicals that have won the Pulitzer Prize for drama. In five minutes, I need you to name them, the composer, lyricist, librettist, and source material, if any.
I need your--
Go.
[Johnson leaves]
You make the interns learn musical theater history?
You’re welcome, America.
I don't think there's an immoral way to kill terrorists.
There's an illegal way and we're doing it.
I don't care.
'Cause you were taken off the 9/11 anniversary coverage?
Yes!
I knew you were upset.
Of course I'm-- Are you kidding me? I'm flipping out! - Holy shit, Mac. What the fuck did I do?
I know. It feels bad.
I used to be exactly the person that you wanted to see in these moments.
I know.
I don't mean the old days. Like a year ago.
You still are.
I remind people of the enemy? Jesus!
Every blond-haired guy from Nebraska reminds people of Muslim extremists. There's nothing you can do.
Don't try to make me laugh.
You can blame it all on me.
If there was a way to blame it on you, don't you think I would have done that by now? I've got Roger Daltrey screaming, "You better, you better, you bet" in my ear.
When I was little, I asked my uncle how much a lawyer costs. He said if it's bad, 300 pounds. If it's really bad, 400 pounds. And if it's really bad and you're guilty... How much do you cost?
$1,500 an hour.
JDJerry Dantana
I need to tell you a story Cyrus West told me last night after the panel.
Cyrus West question mark? Hmm, ellipses.
JDJerry Dantana
I booked a bad guest. How long do you guys give people shit in New York?
Ask A-Rod.
If it goes to voice mail after two rings, they saw your name and sent you to voice mail.
Really?
Four rings they're not there, two rings they don't wanna talk to you.
All right, I have to retrace my entire life now.
Look, I'm trying real hard to care the Al-Awlaki is dead, but I-
I don't care that he's dead. I care that we killed him. Without a trial, or anything resembling due process.
You can't switch teams, declare your intention to kill as many Americans as possible, and not expect to be treated as an enemy of the state.
And you can't be found to be an enemy of the state without a trial.
John Dillinger said the problem with living outside the law is that you no longer have the protection of it.
That doesn't sound like Dillinger.
Yeah, it may have been someone else.
Federal Agents tried to arrest Dillinger coming out of a movie theater, and when he pulled a gun, they shot him. They didn't hit the theater with a rocket.
Al-Awlaki was the head of AQAP. He doesn't get read Miranda. I don't give a shit what his passport says.
You don't.
And you know all those times the two of you ask me why I'm a Republican, as if that's something that needs an explanation?
I don't know what the hell you're on about...
I have never heard either of you ask anyone why they're a Democrat. Well it's right here. The purposeful suspension of common sense.
Treason is a crime, you have to be found guilty of it before you can be punished.
Anwar Al-Awlaki was killed today. It wasn't an accident. There was no warrant, no arrest, no arraignment, no judge, no jury, and no appeal.
OOfficer
How do you spell...?
Not here. A US citizen was targeted. Another on death row for the crime of not being able to afford a good lawyer. And a bunch more have been locked up for wearing Halloween masks. So obviously what I'm doing is dealing with the easiest one!
Prison really changes a man. You get a lot of thinking done.
TTamara
How long were you in there?
About an hour. Hour and 15 minutes. It's slow time.
Isn't it enough that they love you? They'd walk into fire for you.
For you.
For you. I'm usually the one setting the fire.
[Doing a story about the audience of a Republican Primary Candidate debate booing a gay soldier serving in Iraq.]
That was a big room full of Republican primary voters booing an American combat soldier who, as he was speaking, was in combat. The audience members who were booing were in Orlando. Soon, they'll surely be in Hell, though not soon enough. Not everyone was booing. There were people in the audience who heard Captain Hill say that when he was deployed to Iraq, he was worried that if his sexuality was discovered, they might not let him go. As opposed to most of us who, if told we were being deployed to Iraq, would go Corporal Klinger faster than you can pull on a yellow taffeta picnic dress. I'm sure there were even some people in the building who stood up for Captain Hill. People who had the simple strength of character to turn to the fraction of a human in the seat next to them and say "How many different kinds of disgusting do you have to be to boo a man who volunteered to fight and die for you?" I'm sure those people were there. I'm sure there were many of them. But, unfortunately, none of them were on the stage. Not one of these would-be Commanders in Chief took a moment to stand with a line officer. They let him stand alone. Soldiers never do that. Leaders never do that. Witless bullies and hapless punks do it all the time. The only President on the stage last night was Stephen Hill. Godspeed, Captain Hill, and come home soon. A grateful nation is waiting to say thank you.
I'm not allowed to make that suggestion on television.
Make it anytime you want. We're protected.
Oh, you mean the tape.
The tape, baby, the tape. We're like made men. We're like Joe Pesci in "Goodfellas."
He got shot.
Before he got shot.
Before he got shot, he wasn't a made man.
We're like James Caan in "The Godfather."
Also shot. Many, many times.
Who are we like?
Two guys who have a tape of their boss admitting to phone hacking.
How do these people boo a soldier? How do the candidates say nothing? And how are you a member of this party?
I'm changing it from within.
Like Pacino in "Scarface."
Have you ever seen any of these movies?
I should.
Don't mock this.
It's literally impossible not to.
NHNina Howard
The message said--
You don't have to say what it said.
NHNina Howard
It said--
It's all right.
NHNina Howard
It said, "Hey, Mac, it's me. Look, I'm not just saying this because I'm high. I've never stopped loving you. You were spectacular tonight." Then there's a pause and you say, "Can you believe we got Obama?"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Newsroom pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.