Tigger quotes from The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Tigger

The treasure! We found it! And it's exacticly what I always dreamed of... My very own X!

Rabbit

The treasure's under the X, Tigger. You have to dig it up!

Surprise!

Pooh

Surprise! Exactly whom are we surprising?

Rabbit

Why you, Pooh. It's your surprise going away party. See?

Pooh

I am surprised. Why I didn't even know I was going away.

Tigger

Didn't you read the signs? "Goodbye." "So long." "We'll m-m-miss you."

Rabbit

Pooh, we even have going away presents for you.

Pooh

A jar of honey! It's just what I always wanted, Piglet. How did you know?

Tigger

Here you go, buddy bear!

Pooh

Oh thank you, Tigger! Oh thank you, Eeyore!

Eeyore

It's something sweet, sticky and golden.

Pooh

So Rabbit. What present do you have for me?

Rabbit

Well uh... uh... Look! A Jagular!

Tigger

I don't see no Jagular.

Rabbit

Well it was there yesterday.

Piglet

Ooh! That was a close call.

Rabbit

Here you go, Pooh. Happy going away.

Pooh

Thank you everyone. This is the best going away party I've ever had. Actually it's the only going away party I've ever had.

Gopher

Of course, you have to be careful with dynamite. Can't use too much. Just a little keg will do you.

Pooh

Only one keg?

Piglet

Oh dear.

Tigger

Uh oh.

Gopher

Stand clear! [the entire fortress blows up] You too, Rabbit.

Pooh

Do you think perhaps we should have told Gopher that we each used one keg, too?

Tigger

Say, it's the middle of broad daylight! Even a not-so-scary story has to happen at night, you know!

Piglet

Oh but this one happens in the daytime!

Tigger

Night!

Piglet

Day!

Tigger

Night!

Piglet

Day!

Tigger

Morning!

Piglet

Evening! [realizes what just happened] Oh dear...

Gopher

[hearing Piglet's singing] Say! What's that?

Rabbit

Sounds like a heffalump with a bad head cold.

Tigger

Nah! It's the mating call of the yellow bellied double parked sapsucker.

Piglet

[attaching Eeyore's tail to a scary balloon] There, my bully bamboozler is all finished.

Tigger

Don't move, false face! We caught you pink handed!

Piglet

Caught me? Caught me doing what?

Tigger

Caught you looking like this poster, of course.

Tigger

Never fear citizens! It is I, the Masked Offender to the rescue!

Rabbit

No no no! You don't belong here.

Tigger

Whoops. [disappears]

Rabbit

There is no Masked Offender in this story.

Piglet

Pooh, just why does the big bad bunny want to get into the house?

Pooh

I believe he wants to borrow some... honey. No. Not that. He, he wants uh...

Tigger

To get out of the rain. [a storm cloud appears over Rabbit]

Rabbit

That's it! No more! This has gone far enough! Big bad bunnies, Papa Bears? It's too much! I'm taking over! [stuffs cloud into picnic basket] I'm going to tell this story the way it's supposed to be told! Ahem. I'm going to huff and puff and blow your tree down!

Piglet

Oh, d-d-dear!

Pooh

And the three little piglets, who had all the honey they wanted, lived happily ever after. The end.

Piglet

Oh, I love happy endings, Pooh. But what happened to the big bad bunny?

Rabbit

[drenched in honey] Don't ask, Piglet. Don't ask.

Tigger

What'd I tell you? I'll show you how dumb this is. I wish I had a peanut butter and jello sandwich, and a root beer to wash it down with. [his wish comes true as two candles blow out] D-d-did you see that?

Piglet

Ooh, it looks real.

Tigger

[eats it] It is real. [laughs] Birthday wishes do come true!

Tigger

Happy birthday? To me? [opens one of two presents and gasps] A banana split! [Opens the other present] Then this must be a...! It's gotta be a...! YAHOO!

Piglet

I guess he found his Pogo stick.

Tigger

[bounces Piglet, sending his cake flying into the sky] Hiya Piglet old pal! What's up?

Piglet

Uh, up? [his cake is "up"]

Tigger

Buddy bear! [turns and accidentally spills honey on Owl]

Pooh

No, there's nothing in there I want.

Tigger

[seeing what happened to Owl] Aha! It's Owl! I mean, it's Pooh! I mean...you know what I mean.

Pooh

Tiptoeing would be a great deal easier if you knew what it is that you're trying not to step IN!

Piglet

Dagnabbit! What's goin' on here, sonny?! How am I supposed to find a missing appetite when folks are always droppin' in unexpectedly?!

Pooh

I don't know exactly what it is, but Gopher doesn't seem to be himself today.

Tigger

The little guys got carried away and carried me away.

Rabbit

Tigger, this thing has caused nothing but trouble from the start.

Tigger

Oh, I guess you're [sniffles] Right. My inventions have been messing things up. I'm just a flat-out, outright, downright failure. I'll never be able to show my handsome face again! TTFG: Ta ta for good.

Pooh

We can't let him not show his handsome face ever again.

Tigger

You remember that crazy old story about the cat who played out of tune? [in his fantasy, a cow rams Tigger and he flies straight through the moon] He fiddled so bad, a moo cow got mad and k-nocked him clear to the moon.

Pooh

Oh my.

Tigger

The whole sky was bare when the kitty got there and he fell to what looked like his doom. [in his fantasy, a round plate sits on a wall] Meanwhile down on the ground, all cuddly and round, Humphrey Dumphrey sat on his wall. Then he heard a strange noise. [in his fantasy, a hollering Tigger falls on the wall, catapulting him away] And he gazed up on high and that kitty came falling right out of the sky. He sent Humphrey flying like a chubby old bird. But where the guy landed, I won't say a word.

Tigger

I came. I sawed. I hammered.

Rabbit

This will get us up there.

Piglet

But how do we get it up there?

Rabbit

Uh, which ones? Well the uh, magician's not here, and uh, there's no bishop.

Tigger

Say, the bish-hop sounds like my kind of guy. Hoo hoo!