STSinging Telegram
[To C.C., sung to the tune of Yankee Doodle]
Fran and Maxwell are engaged
It looks like you're a loser
She'll be happy all her days
And you'll become a boozer.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
You know, sweetie, last night you didn't give me that little something that I'm used to getting from you every week.
Well, Fran, since we got engaged, I didn't think I had to give It to you anymore.
Wait a minute. I know what I'm talking about. What are you talking about?
Your paycheck.
Thank God. That's what I'm talking about too.
You're his partner in life. You're the woman behind the man. Help him, support him, be there for him, never refuse him. You get me?
Yeah, I get you. You're talking about dinner, right?
What else is there?... Do you know where your father would be today if I hadn't pushed him?
Not collecting disability?
Ah oh all right hands up anyone who doesn't belong In here
I bet you weren't expecting three gorgeous gals in your bed, now don't go getting any idea's
Yes well I think this has sufficiently put that fantasy to rest sylvia.
It's not natural. I never heard of such a thing. What man doesn't want to procrastinate with the woman he loves?
Procreate, ma.
Fran, I am telling you right now. If I don't get grandchildren out of him, I'll never step foot in this house again.
Well, congratulations, Ma. You just invented the first foolproof male contraceptive.
Fran wants to have a baby with me.
What, you've forgotten how to do it?
This is serious, Niles. I'm not sure I really want to go through that again. All the crying and the diapers and the waking up at 4am.
Oh, sir, It's not so bad when you consider I DID ALL THAT! You know, come to think of it, you are too old to have a baby.
I'm not that old.
You have three children already. Why can't Ms. Fine be happy with that?
Because they're not... ours. Having a baby is one of those things that bonds a couple together.
Mmm. That's why we're so close.
You know you're awfully cute when you compromise.
You're awfully cute when you tell me I'm awfully cute.
What proof do we have this woman and I are related?
Let's get to know her a little bit. Hi, honey, are you married?
CConcepcion
I was living with a man for 5 years but I couldn't make a commitment.
There's your DNA test!
What is the one thing I taught you?
"Death begins in the colon"?
I'm going to ask Fran to sign a pre-nuptial agreement.
Why don't you just walk around downtown Iraq dressed as Uncle Sam? It'd be quicker.
CCC.C. Replacement
Good night, Piles.
Niles.
CCC.C. Replacement
You say tomato...
You know something, lady? You're just a pale imitation of the C.C. Babcock I know. You're not half the man she is.
I have not waited around five years for some little shiksa to come in and ruin my wedding.
Oh, thank you, Niles. You know, you could be Ma if it weren't for the whiskers. Although.
If you leave, I'm gonna throw myself in the Hudson River.
Ma, flooding New Jersey is not gonna solve anything.
I can't believe it in just 24 hours from now I'll be holding Mrs. Sheffield in my arms. are you as happy I am?
This is the happiest day of my life. Congratulations, sir.
Thank you, Niles.
Hey, what about me I'm the woman who's making you the happiest man in the world.
Ms. Fine, Congratulations.
Wait what's the suitcase for? Wait a minute I know, if we elope now, the sooner we get to our wedding night.
Excuse me, you made me wait 5 years, and now all of a sudden because you're in the mood, you think that I'm gonna come to you just like that (snaps fingers)? Come to mama!
So what you're so excited you're packed for our honeymoon already
Oh sweetie I'm a Jewish woman going on a two-month cruise do you really think this is all the clothes I'm going to need?
Yes
Oh, Oh Honey. oh I wish I could stay but I gotta go to ma's
What?!
Yea you know it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride 24 hours before the Ceremony
But sweetheart we have the house all to ourselves
oh i know but no no sweetie oh. (Her watch beeps) Gotta go.
What?
Yep that was a warning we only have 2 minutes left.
I can do it in 2 minutes
you can?
well darling it has been 5 years
I think you'd really like her, Sarah.
SSarah
I do, Max. Why do you think I sent her to you?
You sent her to me. And you heard her speak?
SSarah
I thought she had a cold.
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