[in coconut form] Roll up, roll up! The coconut shy, everyone's a winner! One euro, that's all I'm asking! Grease my cockney palm, and you can throw balls to your hearts' content! Knock their murdering smiles right off their faces! I wanna see twisted bone and meat all over the back wall by the time I'm finished!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
EEleanor
I'm a woman in the prime of her life who needs love-squeezins!
EEleanor
(after shooting the Hitcher) Howard, my sweet love nipple, let's get away from here! I have a love shack in Acapulco and you can mess me up fun time!
The tweed utility patch: scuffproof, weatherproof, even bulletproof, sir.
Are you bulletproof, boy?
... Don't know sir.
You enjoy that boy? Cockney urine all over your face?
What are you angry about?
Government.
Government? Ooohh.
And climate change.
Climate change?
It's getting hot, Howard. Haven't you noticed?
Why do you care about that? Because it makes your hair a little more difficult to straighten?
That, and it's a bit clammy.
I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down!
Come on then, let's have it. Every day you're late and every day another crazy excuse. What is it this time? Lego avalanche trapped you, did it? Your pajamas turned into nitrogen and you got stuck on the ceiling of your bedroom? Giant kingfisher came into your room and pecked you under the duvet? Got your jodhpurs caught on a magic hedgehog? I write them down, you know. What is it? A scarecrow took you to Paris?
I just had a few things to do, that's all.
That's not funny. That's not even going in the book. That's awful.
Not everything has to be funny you know... sometimes life can take a serious turn, colours can fade to black.
Have you got my script?
All he needs now is a tall northern jazzy freak with a moustache and no dress sense.
Is this how you win people over?
Ah, look, I can't express myself like you! I haven't got a pencil case story! He's tryin' to drive a wedge between us, Howard! We've got history! We're like ying and yang!
Yeah, well, I'm not gonna take him up on his offer, you know. I don't need him. I've already got a shallow mate who dresses like a... futuristic prostitute.
[smiles] Thanks, Howard.
Vince, Howard, Naboo and Bollo:
Tube Mouse, I love you so,
I took you from the underground,
And brought you home,
Put you in my jacket pocket,
And took you to the meeting,
Put you in my jacket pocket,
And took you to the meeting.
I'm going to Jazzercise. Working out to hot be-bop. Circuit training to John Coltrane.
When it comes to drug-taking, I think you'll find that Kirk leaves us all in the dust!
What's he looking at?
Nobody knows. Kirk is journeying far into the astral realm.
He's off his tits!
Naboo, the time has come for your execution. It is not a task any of us wanted, and so to protect the identity of the executioner, he shall be wearing a hood.
[Cut to Tony Harrison, in a black executioner's mask, trying to get up the guillotine's steps]
I can't get up these stairs! What is this bullshit!? I asked for a ramp!
[sarcastically] I wonder who that is!
SSaboo
Maybe we should have got someone with legs to do this!
"I'm gonna make you wear a little dress and hurt you"
"Imma done a tummy shame"
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Mighty Boosh pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.