Ted Baxter quotes from The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Ted

[about his antacid pills] They're not for my personal use. I never have any stomach trouble myself.

Murray

No, but you're a carrier, Ted.

Mary

You're going to have your lawyer look over a simple lease?

Ted

An ounce of perversion is worth a pound of cure.

[speaking to Mary in the newsroom about the tennis club] A lot of great-looking guys have lunch there.

Ted

You talking about Antonio's? You're right, I just had lunch there.

Mary

Ted, we were talking about the tennis club.

Ted

Oh, I'll have to go there some time.

Lou

The owner's been asking about you, about how important you are to the station.

Ted

What you tell him Lou?

Mary

He told him to watch you do the news and decide for himself.

Ted

Oh my God!

Murray

That was a terrific speech you made up there, Ted.

Ted

Think so, Murray? Gee, I thought you'd be mad because I didn't quit too.

Murray

No, that's okay, Ted. When a donkey flies, you don't blame him for not staying up that long.

Ted

Lou… [everyone joins in a group hug]

Lou

I think we all need some Kleenex

There's some on Mary's desk.

Mary

Mr. Grant. Could I say what I wanted to say, now. Please.

Lou

Okay, Mary.

Mary

Well I just wanted you to know, that sometimes I get concerned about being a career woman. I get to thinking my job is too important to me. And I tell myself that the people I work with are just the people I work with, and not my family. And last night I thought, "what is a family anyway?" They're just people who make you feel less alone and really loved. And that's what you've done for me. Thank you for being my family. [group hug]

Murray

Now for the hard part. How do we leave this room?

Lou

That's not so hard. Remember what Ted said?

Ted

What was that, Lou?

Lou

It's a long way to Tipperary, It's a long way to go…