Rhoda Morgenstern quotes from The Mary Tyler Moore Show

Rhoda

My father's short.

Mary

See, it didn't bother your mother did it?

Rhoda

Bother her? She made him that way.

Mary

At our age, having your tonsils out can be dangerous.

Rhoda

At our age, having your hair done can be dangerous.

Phyllis

Believe it or not, I too once had a feeling of inadequacy.

Rhoda

Oh, no. We're not going to hear about your honeymoon again, are we?

Rhoda

[about her mother] I think she's holding a grudge because I didn't go into the profession she wanted.

Mary

What's that?

Rhoda

A housewife.

As a matter of fact, I'm not wearing a bra.

Rhoda

Ma! Go upstairs and put some clothes on!

What's the matter, you can't handle somebody who's a little 'with it?'

Rhoda

You're not with it. You're without it. Now go upstairs and get it.

Mary Richards. It's still Mary Richards, isn't it?

Mary

Yes, it's still Mary, too.

So you've never been married, Mary?

Mary

No, Estelle, I haven't.

I've been married twice.

Rhoda

She liked it so much the first time.

Rhoda

How come you're not watching that documentary on TV? It's on how much fun us single swingers are having.

Mary

How come you're not watching it?

Rhoda

I didn't want to watch it alone. It's too depressing.

Mary

Rhoda, why are you putting strange men in my address book?

Rhoda

He's not a strange man. He's the guy I invited to that party you gave as my date, and he showed up with his wife.

Mary

Oh, yes. I remember her. Nancy.

Rhoda

I remember him. Armond.

Mary

It still doesn't explain why you wrote him in my address book and not yours.

Rhoda

I don't have one. I've been getting by for years on the back of a cocktail napkin.

Phyllis

[to Mary and Rhoda] I thought I'd see how you swingin' singles spend your evenings!

Rhoda

They're not much different than yours. We sit around at night wondering what it'd be like to have a happy marriage.

Mary

[to Rhoda who is having doubts about decorating Lou's living room] You want a challenge, don't you?

Rhoda

Sure, Mary, I want a challenge. I just get the feeling that this room might win.

Mary

He had his arm around her and everything was very cozy. Then he saw us, he pushed her away and started treating her like a stranger.

Rhoda

I know that feeling. I once had a date do that to me when I ordered steak.

Mary

[refuting the notion that the governor's aide was interested in her] He...didn't even get my name.

Rhoda

Well, he got mine. I took off my name tag and pinned it to his jacket.

Rhoda

[about her ride home in a cab] The driver was Murray.

Mary

Murray? My Murray?

Rhoda

Yeah, from the newsroom.

Mary

That's impossible. Murray's teaching at night.

Rhoda

Yeah? Well, tell him the ashtrays are full in his classroom.

Mary

You know, Rhoda, you could get yourself much sicker going out tonight.

Rhoda

Yeah...

Mary

Did you tell your date you have a temperature?

Rhoda

I would have, Mare. However, I make it a rule never to discuss flu symptoms with a six-foot-one Yale grad with dark, curly hair.

Mary

You could give him your cold.

Rhoda

Uh-huh. [smiling] If I play my cards right!

Phyllis

[disdainfully eying an unkempt Rhoda, who is standing in Mary's doorway in her robe] Yes, well...uh...I always said looks aren't important when you have good clothing sense.

Rhoda

Phyllis, I'd like to tell you something.

Phyllis

What?

Rhoda

It is so hard for me to tell you this.

Phyllis

What is it, Rhoda? You can tell me.

Rhoda

[leans over and kisses Phyllis on the cheek] I'm extremely contagious.