MMarty
Our research shows us that the youth market responds to single syllable men's names. United has Ted, Apple has Mac. There's even a guy out there with a list called Craig.
All S1
Characters
MerylMimi Rogers · 15 quotes
SamBret Harrison · 14 quotes
DerekIan Reed Kesler · 9 quotes
RussPhilip Baker Hall · 9 quotes
Most scenes together: Meryl & Sam (5), Meryl & Russ (3), Sam & Derek (3)
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Go pandas!
PPiper
I love you like a sister, Lizzie, but you gotta holster your snootch!
KKeith
They're checked in under the name "Snootch Patrol." I have no idea what that means.
SSteven
Me neither.
[Sam's elevator acquaintance takes advantage when Sam can't date his secretary as he is ordered to go out partying with the male assistant of a potential client]
I thought I'd take your new secre-tail upstairs for a little pre-game. Maybe put my (bleep) in her (bleep).
[After Sam was stuck in the dumpster]
What happened? You look like Mary-Kate Olsen!
[After Meryl tells Sam to use her office's shower to clean himself from the dumpster]
Now, if you see anything in the shower that looks like an eyeball peeking through a hole, don't worry. It's just a decorative tile. But don't poke it.
...Theses, are you listening?
What? Yeah, yeah, yes.
[notices Sam is staring jealously at the new secretary's date with Derek] Oh boy, I see your gal has another gentleman caller. [the secretary laughs as Derek feeds food to her mouth] I'm on it.
What? No, no, no, no, no, I'm gonna fight it...
Nonsense, I'm sending in the bean. It's the least we can do. [to Meryl] Operation green bingo, hmm? [slaps Mery's ass]
No, no operation green bingo. No, no bean! Don't send in the bean! [Russ blocks his way]
[cuts Derek's conversation with the secretary] Hey, baby.
[to the secretary] Hey, look, it's you plus twenty. [to Meryl while the secretary is shocked by what he said] Do I know you? [looks at her large breasts] I would have remembered that chest. Refresh my mammaries. [Meryl leans in closer and whispers something in his ear] That is the dirtiest sentence I have ever heard.
[rubs his chest gently] Yeah, that's just the beginning. There is a whole paragraph where that came from.
Alright, let's do this. [takes off his shirt and gives it to the secretary] Sorry, babe, this is live action here.
SThe secretary
[not caring about him anymore] Ok, be my guest...
[points Meryl to his chest] You wanna start with Tom or Jerry?
[to Sam] Alright, that's my cue. I'm flying in. [goes in to pretend to be Meryl's boyfriend]
[After Russ invites Sam to his birthday party]
And...you might wanna bring your raincoat, 'cause there'll be a lot of women there.
Russ!
No, it's supposed to rain! He might wanna walk one of them to the car!
Oh, sorry.
...And then plow her in the back seat!
Hmm. [looks at Sam suggestively causing him to quiver]
[Sam is in the elevator and is already stressed when Derek suddenly enters]
Oh, God!
Yeah, but you can call me Derek. Or Yahweh if that's the way you rugelach.
FEA fellow executive
[notices Sam crouches when approaching a working helicopter] Why the hell are you ducking?!
I don't know, I saw it on MASH!
JDJoe Dayton
[to fellow executives]: Should I tell him the wind does funky things over here?
Ah? [stands up straight] Ah! [the wind flies him away]
[after an Under Secretary from Homeland Security, who has just introduced the American government's new "naked machine" to the airline company, credits his governmental status to the inspiration Meryl gave him as his lecturer years ago]
That's so awesome what you did for that guy.
I've done other things for other guys that were more awesome. And it involves a different kind of naked machine. Me. Interested in a demo?
No, no, I'm good, thanks though. Bye. [runs away and leaves behind a staring Meryl]
[after winning the Amelia Earhart women's award without ever wanting to be nominated]
Sikander (an Indian executive): Congratulations on the award!
Cram it, M. Night Shyamalan.
[after making a roomless Sam share a hotel room with her, and then explaining to him she doesn't want a women's award because she wants to be judged strictly by her professional skills]
So...[leans close to his face] wanna do shots off my ass?
[Sam stares at her in bewilderment]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loop pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.