A character in The Loop
Played by Ian Reed Kesler
The Loop · 36 quotes
Tied for 3rd most-quoted character in The Loop: in 9 of its 36 quotes
Most scenes with: Sam (3), Russ (2)
[Sam's elevator acquaintance takes advantage when Sam can't date his secretary as he is ordered to go out partying with the male assistant of a potential client]
DerekI thought I'd take your new secre-tail upstairs for a little pre-game. Maybe put my (bleep) in her (bleep).
[Sam fires his date Leeza while in a restaurant. She screams about being dumped and when he calms her down her hair gets caught on fire by the burner of the fondue he especially arranged earlier. Sam immediately shoves her head into an indoor fountain behind them]
Derek[turns back from the sight to speak to his blond date] 'Saw that coming. That coconut hair mask is crazy flammable.
DerekSo have a nice meeting with Ralph Somkin - aviation legend. Tell him thanks for business class. It's nice to have a buffer zone between me and the hot dogs of Coach.
[cuts Derek's conversation with the secretary] Hey, baby.
Derek[to the secretary] Hey, look, it's you plus twenty. [to Meryl while the secretary is shocked by what he said] Do I know you? [looks at her large breasts] I would have remembered that chest. Refresh my mammaries. [Meryl leans in closer and whispers something in his ear] That is the dirtiest sentence I have ever heard.
[rubs his chest gently] Yeah, that's just the beginning. There is a whole paragraph where that came from.
DerekAlright, let's do this. [takes off his shirt and gives it to the secretary] Sorry, babe, this is live action here.
[not caring about him anymore] Ok, be my guest...
Derek[points Meryl to his chest] You wanna start with Tom or Jerry?
[to Sam] Alright, that's my cue. I'm flying in. [goes in to pretend to be Meryl's boyfriend]
[Sam is in the elevator and is already stressed when Derek suddenly enters]
Oh, God!
DerekYeah, but you can call me Derek. Or Yahweh if that's the way you rugelach.
Derek[after Darcy, who is of Asian ethnicity, simply walks away when he flirts with her by mentioning he wants a cookie fortune in bed] What's her problem?
She's not Chinese, Derek.
DerekTrust me, kemosabe, they're all Chinese.
Ah, this is Russ McDonland, chairman and CEO of TransAlliance airlines.
Nice to meet you, son.
DerekCongratulations on your airline. You make everything else in life seem safe in comparison.
[laughs] A wise timer, ha...? [Derek hums in approvement] I like it! Pull over a sit.
DerekI won't keep you too long. I know you have a bankruptcy to get to.
[After he asked her out, Darcy enters their building's restaurant in a long black overcoat]
DerekNice outfit, are you going for a funeral?
Yeah, yours.
[Darcy takes off the coat to remain in lingerie, which leaves Derek speechless]
DerekSweet setup, right? Between me and the plasma, there's 58 inches of entertainment.
Shut up and get to work. [shoves Derek's head down and mounts him under the covers]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Loop pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
