The Life and Times of Juniper Lee quotes

Juniper Lee

Oh, come on. He didn't know what he was doing. And now the natural balance of the world is all screwy and I have to fix it, so if you could see it in your heart…

Vikki Devyne

Listen, sweetheart, You seem like a nice kid and I'd really really like to help, but my hands are tied, and by that, I mean I don't want to! I work deals here, okay? If you had something I wanted, then maybe we'd be having a conversation.

Vikki Devyne

For starters, a protein shake that doesn't taste like an elephant's butt! AND I SAID NO BANANA!!!! (disintegrates Bobby, leaving his eyes bouncing away) There was a glorious protein shake that I used to get when I was just a little assistant agent demon in the underworld land of Quegara. I woulda taste that again.

Juniper Lee

Alright, I'll get it for you. If I do, will you turn the monster kids back?

Vikki Devyne

You got yourself a deal, sweetheart, but the offer expires at midnight. After that, the spell will be too powerful to overturn and those kids will be human forever.

Juniper Lee

(as they shake hands) Capeesh!

Ah, I remember her. Used to come in every day and get a protein shake. And just the way she likes it.

Juniper Lee

Oh, wonderful. I'll take one. (places her money on the counter)

Money units do me no good here. For this smoothie, I demand a trade of premium value. Perhaps you could acquire the Magical Amulet of Turisbak, owned by the fierce and powerful Lord Balthezul of Gremble Beach?

Oh, young Juniper. I have waited for your arrival. I will trade you the Amulet of Turisbak for the Great Goblet of Goblins found in the Grand Gorge of Gorgia.

Maybe, maybe not. What's it to ya?

Juniper Lee

Well, I've also been told that you'll trade it for the Crystal Scepter of Malaperta.

I shall trade the scepter for one item: the Ancient Talisman of Remoulardi.

The Ankh of Klakteria.

The Shroud of Voldwans.