The Larry Sanders Show · Season 1, Episode 12
“A Brush with the Elbow of Greatness” · Season 1, Episode 12
In this episode: Larry Sanders (4), Arthur (2)
What's the word from the network, Norm?
They were fine until they saw the tape then they started coughing up blood. I mean, half of the civilized world just gonna watch Entertainment Tonight in a few hours and they're gonna see Larry Sanders body-slamming a woman half his size into a metal rack.
No...
What?
Terrible.
No! No, this is a publicity Bonanza. Gentlemen, I'm wetting myself.
[after seeing the video where he pushed a woman] I'm fucked... I'm really fucked.
I was in the grocery store and I heard a crash but you know, it's uh, it's a supermarket in L.A., I figured it was, you know, looting.
It's understandable, that'd be my first thought.
Hear me out. Hear me out. Why not have her on the show and apologize to her. I swear to Christ, this is brilliant. I mean, the only way you're gonna get better ratings is if you marry Hank on the air.
God, you're a sick fuck.
Thank you.
See, I can't do that. I can't be an asshole.
[eye-rolling] That must be really hard for you, Larry.
It is. It's very frustrating. Think of Johnny Carson. Remember when Johnny got arrested for drunk driving and he made the front page of every newspaper?
Yeah.
You know how many people get arrested for drunk driving everyday? They're not on the front page of newspapers, only Johnny Carson is on the front page of newspaper. Do you know why?
He was drunk!
No, but he's Johnny, that's the point. You think she would have sold those tapes to Entertainment Tonight if I wasn't Larry Sanders? I'll move to Montana, that will make everybody happy.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Larry Sanders Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
