Arthur quotes from The Larry Sanders Show

Arthur

What do you mean there's no helicopter? For God's sake, tell him he's a burn victim. If he were a kidney he'd have been here an hour ago.

Larry

Do we know if he's taking this CBS offer?

Arthur

I've made some calls, done some legwork, developed some leads - nothing yet.

Larry

Oh thanks, Mannix.

Arthur

Mike Connors is a good friend of mine. He'll be on next week.

Arthur

I saw it coming.

Larry

I hate this business.

Arthur

I'm telling you I saw it coming.

Larry

And I'm telling you I hate this fucking business!

Arthur

The show is going great!

Larry

Oh, it's going great, my life is falling apart and I'm glad there's TV cameras here to cover it. This is like the Hindenburg. How much long before you start shouting "Oh, the humanity"?

Larry

I'm telling you, I have a real problem. Twenty people could say they liked me, Artie, and I am telling you I'd still be thinking: seventeen of them are lying, two of them probably have severe emotional problems and one of them is probably confusing me with Larry King.

Arthur

I've gotta say something that's gonna sound trite but it's also truth. As soon as you start liking yourself, you won't care what other people think.

Larry

[laughing] Hey, then I'm totally fucked.

Arthur

What's the word from the network, Norm?

They were fine until they saw the tape then they started coughing up blood. I mean, half of the civilized world just gonna watch Entertainment Tonight in a few hours and they're gonna see Larry Sanders body-slamming a woman half his size into a metal rack.

Arthur

No...

What?

Arthur

Terrible.

No! No, this is a publicity Bonanza. Gentlemen, I'm wetting myself.

Larry

I was in the grocery store and I heard a crash but you know, it's uh, it's a supermarket in L.A., I figured it was, you know, looting.

Arthur

It's understandable, that'd be my first thought.