[entering kitchen] Dorothy, when was the last time you had sex?
That's a very personal question.
That long, huh? Perfect. Then you shall be the Queen of the Festival of the Dancing Virgins.
Ma, what are you talking about?
Once a year, the women of my village threw a festival to recapture their virginity. It gives you a chance to say to the man in your life "What kind of tramp do you take me for?"
We had a Festival of the Dancing Virgins in St. Olaf, too. Every year we'd go down to the lake and they'd be flopping around on the dock... Oh no, wait, that was the Festival of the Dancing Sturgeons.
What is wrong with you, woman?
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