Girls, guess what I found. [takes a teddy bear from behind her back] Fernando!
That's not Fernando.
Well what do you mean that's not Fernando? How could you tell?
All you have to do is look in his eyes.
Or at the price tag stuck to his back.
“Old Friends” · Season 3, Episode 1
In this episode: Blanche Devereaux (6), Rose Nylund (6), Dorothy Zbornak (4), Sophia Petrillo (4)
I'm making a scarf for a friend I don't have anymore.
I know exactly how you feel. [holds up a pair of teddy bear-sized overalls] I made these for Fernando.
DDaisy
[holding a water pistol to Fernando the teddy bear's head] See this water pistol? It's loaded with red ink!
[Rose walks in]
Oh Rose, don't move, honey! She's got the teddy bear and a water pistol!
Rose, see, honey, Fernando doesn't exactly belong to you anymore. Well I kinda gave him to Daisy by mistake. So, you understand now-just a silly misunderstanding! See? [everyone except Rose is laughing nervously]
No. Get him back. I want my teddy!
But honey, she's a child! You can't expect a child to give back a toy! Now, you do understand, don't you?
Just cut the crap and get back the damn bear!
[referring to the bench] Someone sitting there?
AAlvin
Cataracts or glaucoma?
She's not a sweet kid anymore. She is holding Fernando for ransom!
Come on....
Dorothy, she sent me one of his ears!!!
So that's when this saleman from men's sportswear walks clear across the store into ladies' petite and says, "Oh excuse me, miss, but I noticed you've been having a hard time deciding between the turquoise strapless and the flaming red backless. Well, personally I'd like to see you in the backless." And I said, "When?" And he said, "How about Saturday night?" And I said, "How about in your dreams, sleazo!" Can you believe the nerve of that guy?
What were you doing in ladies petite?
[referring to who's buying her breakfast] It's Alvin.
Alvin from the boardwalk?
No Rose, Alvin from The Chipmunks.
(Daisy comes over holding Fernando)
DDaisy
Hello.
What do you want?
DDaisy
Well...I decided that it was wrong to ask for all those gifts.
Oh, see, Dorothy? I knew that she was a sensible kid! She just needed-
DDaisy
I've decided that cash is better. That way I can buy exactly what I want.
...I'll get my purse.
No, Blanche, I'm not going to let you do that. I've thought long and hard about this. If after all those years of love and companionship it's time for Fernando and I to part, well...I guess I have to accept that.
(She walks Daisy over to the door, and opens it for her)
I guess we all learned something here today. Sometimes, life just isn't fair, kiddo.
(She grabs Fernando and hurls Daisy out of the front door, slamming it behind her)
(Sophia sits on Alvin's bench at the boardwalk at night, alone. Dorothy comes up behind her.)
He's not coming back, is he?
No, Ma. His daughter took him to a clinic in New York.
You think he'll remember me?
I don't know, Ma.
I'll remember him.
(They get up and start to walk away)
It figures. I just finished the scarf today.
That's nice, Ma! Next time we're in New York, you can stop by and bring it to him.
No, I think I'll mail it. That way, I can always think of him as being here.
(A man comes along behind them, takes out a pipe, and sits down on Alvin's bench. Sophia turns and sees him.)
Hey! Someone's sitting there!
(The man gets up and hurries away. Dorothy and Sophia slowly walk as the camera pans up on the empty bench.)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.