Please, please Stan. No hugging, no kissing. Let's just do it and get it over with.
Sounds like the last few years of our marriage.
I wish it was that good.
“The Return of Dorothy's Ex (a.k.a.) Stan's Return” · Season 1, Episode 11
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (4), Stan (2), Blanche Devereaux (1), Rose Nylund (1), Sophia Petrillo (1)
[after Stan leaves]
Why did I ever marry that man?
Because he knocked you up!
Why did I let that happen?
Because he got you drunk!
Dorothy Why am I even discussing this with you?
Beats the hell out of me!
[sobbing] Chrissy left me for a younger man!
Younger than Chrissy? Where did she meet him, Camp Snoopy?
I didn't want to say anything. What the hell, you deserve to gloat a little.
I deserve to gloat a lot! But I can't. I know what the pain is like and I wouldn't wish it on... I don't know how to finish that sentence. I usually say, "Stan."
When Charlie went off to war, I went to work for our local USO Club, and that's where I first met Eddie, the Aqua Midget.
He was a blue midget?
Don't be ridiculous, he was a diving midget. That was his act. He used to jump off a stepladder into this gigantic punch bowl.
So, um, what happened?
Nothing, he'd just swim to the side and hop out...
I mean, uh, what happened between you and Eddie?
We talked a lot between shows, and, of course, I didn't realize it, but he was falling for me.
Didn't have far to fall.
It started with little things...
I bet. [she and Dorothy crack up]
Pretty soon the situation got out of control, and I tried to let him down gently.
You tried to make it short and sweet? [she and Dorothy laugh again]
He just wouldn't take no for an answer, so I finally just had to tell him straight out that I didn't feel about him the way he felt about me. It had nothing to do with his size, it was just that I could never become seriously involved with anybody in show business.
[trying not to laugh] Thank you, Rose. I, I don't know what to say. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Golden Girls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.