[voiceover] As Matt Bradley was learning the rules of the JTP, my mom was setting up her own rules.
The rules are simple, You curse, you reimburse. One dollar for every swear sworn in this household.
Well, I, for one, think this is a fantastic way to make us the very best people that we can be. And go to the Bahamas and pierce my belly button. Forget I said that.
No one's going to the damn Bahamas.
Bup-bup! That's a dollar in the swear jar, Dad.
She's right, Murray. We have to live by example.
I'm not paying for these morons to go to the Bahamas.
You know, "moron" may not be considered a curse word, but it really does feel like one emotionally.
I'll put 20 bucks in that thing if I can call my moron who's acting like a moron a moron anytime I want.
50.
Worth it. Morons!
You know what would teach us a super-valuable lesson? Upping the fee for the big-time swears to 5 bucks a pop.
Yes! Ooh! What a great idea.
Oh, balls! It's really not!
[laughs] That's $5!
For balls? But it has so many meanings, only one of which refers to one's nards.
That's $10! Yay! My babies are gonna be angels!
What have you done, dragon lady? I've got $7 to my name. I'm already in debt.
Relax. I have a plan. When it comes to swearing, we have self-control. Lucky for us, our mom does not.
Oh, my God. You're gonna use the swear jar to scam Mom.
I ran the numbers. We need 723 big swear words. If we can up Mom's swear rate to twice an hour and nail her on some "hells" and "damn its" in between, we're gonna be slurping on strawberry daiquiris in the Bahamas in 13 days.
How do we get her to swear more?
Follow my lead. [She goes upstairs to Beverly to see what she has been thinking about] Hey, Mom? I've been thinking about it, and... You're more than a mom. You're also, like... A friend.
That's exactly how I feel! We're like best [bleep]' friends!
Oh. Wow. While I appreciate the enthusiasm, you kind of just dropped a big-money word.
That'll be a fiver. Did I say [BLEEP]? I said it again! Oh! How many [BLEEP] was that? [sighs] Oh, [BLEEP] it. I'll just put in a $20. It's money well-spent for my delicious, talented superstar!
Mama! I'm cold, and nothing can keep me warm like your hug! Will you hug me till I'm all roasty and toasty inside?
[BLEEP] [She hugs him and laughs] You are so adorable! [gasps] I'll get my purse. [chuckles]
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