[voiceover] It was January 6, 1980-something. The fateful day my mom first laid eyes on our neighbors' new kitchen.
Ta-da!
[voiceover] Everything was brand-new. It was an '80s architectural masterpiece of Formica in every shade of brown.
Is that a lazy Susan?
It is!
Is that almond-colored? It's beautiful. Like dirty snow. This linoleum, it looks like real tile. Oh, it spins around! Look! The cinnamon was in the back, and now it's in the front!
And the best part, Charles did the whole thing himself, and it cost half the price.
Get out.
I swear.
No, get out of my way. Move your body. I must speak to Murray now.
Wha...
[Beverly now has to run back home and speak to Murray]
We're getting a new kitchen.
What's wrong with the old kitchen?
You just said it. It's old. It doesn't have what I need in the kitchen. Hello, Bill.
All you need in the kitchen is food and forks. And maybe a cup or two.
Also, you'd be surprised how often you use a juicer.
Then it's settled. We're gonna get a juicer. Damn it, Bevy, you win again.
I mean it. We need to renovate. This thing should be in a museum. A museum of ugly refrigerators. Blech! And look at this floor. No, don't. It'll give you a seizure. And what about these lazy-Susan-less cabinets? I've got to move the other spices out of the way like a wild animal. Like, "Oh, here's the tarragon." Oh. [But she accidentally clatters the pots on the floor] And now I'm stressed out.
She did make a mess.
Bevy, I'd love to give you a new kitchen, but it would cost a fortune. And the materials alone...
I'm a tile man. I'll hook you up for free.
Yeah, but the labor.
I'll install it myself.
Bill, read the room.
I see what this is about. You don't want this 'cause you're afraid of change.
[scoffs] What are you talking about?
You're a creature of habit. For the last 10 years, you've had the same job, same car, same clothes.
Just because I like things the certain way doesn't mean I'm a creature of habit.
Then how do you explain this?
[voiceover] Back in the '80s, Coca-Cola announced new coke, which sent their old-school customers into a tailspin.
The second you find out that coke is changing their recipe, you start to stockpile. What kind of person is afraid of new coke? It's nuts.
I'm not afraid. I just like the old-timey original kind.
Okay, see? You're just proving my point.
Bevy, I try new stuff. Like that big pink orange I ate that one time.
The grapefruit?
Yeah. Never again. The point is, I love change.
Well, there's gonna be some big changes around here. Big changes!
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