[voiceover] Back in the '80s, my mom was obsessed with Thanksgiving. When it came to her cooking, everything had to be perfect. She even made practice turkeys before the big day.
[eating a piece of turkey] Mmm!
I need feedback.
That's good!
But not great.
What?
I'm going again.
[voiceover] To my mom, it was a time for family. For my dad, it was a hassle.
Why do we got to schlep all the way here to go shopping when we got a perfectly good market a minute away from our house?
[voiceover] Well, I thought this time of year, a change of scenery would...
Oh, look! Murray, there's your father! What are the odds we'd run into him in a totally random grocery store?
You got a bag boy to tip you off, didn't you?
So, I have eyes everywhere. What? Does that make me some kind of villain?
Bevy, every year you ask me to invite that spiteful, miserable man to Thanksgiving. You got to give it up.
You're right. He's your father, and I have no right to... Hi! Ben, look! It's your son, Murray! You remember Murray.
Hi, Dad. How you doing?
My foot's still got that thing. And I need eye surgery.
Yeah, good stuff.
So, any plans for the holiday, Ben?
Yeah, I got it right here. This compartment is the stuffing. That's the sweet potatoes. That gray circle, that's the turkey.
Come on, wouldn't a home-cooked meal be much better than that?
That depends. You know what happened the last time I ate your cooking.
That was right after we got married. That was ages ago.
Your turkey was drier than the sun. It was like eating the inside of a vacuum bag filled with pencil shavings. I did not enjoy the meal.
You? No.
It was the first time I'd ever cooked Thanksgiving by myself. My kids were little. They were hanging all over me. I didn't even have a baster. I was baster-less!
No baster could fix your food crimes. Sorry, pal. You deserve better.
Nice seeing you, Dad.
Eh, it was okay.
This is not over. You invite that callous, hurtful man to Thanksgiving right now!
See, I see why you're hocking me all the time to invite him. You just want to show my dad that you're a good cook.
The best cook. And family is important and stuff.
Well, it's not gonna happen. It's bad enough you invite my moron brother every year.
Oh, stop. Marvin's not that bad.
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