Yesterday, I tried to fix a pencil sharpener at work and they had to CALL IN THE COAST GUARD!
C'mon Dad, you're exaggerating
[Picks up Timmy to his face] Tell that to Mitch from accounting, he clung to a floating copier for hours until the fish CAME OUT! [Sobbing] Waaaah, oh Miiitch....
Oh honey, don't be so hard on yourself. What do you say we make some popcorn and watch the toilet?
It's no use, I'm an incompetent BOOB! [Walking sobbingly to the front door] I'm just going to stand in the garbage can, in the alley, for the rest of my life [Opens the door with a wrench, an ocean of water floods into the house]
