[after her mother gives her a sweater] Ooh, I hope this is the one that lands me a man!
S1 E20Drew and Kate and Kate's Mom
Sorry. Just killing Mom before time gets here.
S1 E21Drew Gets Motivated
I want this promotion more than anything.
More than pubic hair when you were twelve?
Yeah, like I used that for the next eight years.
What's it for anyway?
It's like the lettuce on the fruit plate. It's just for presentation.
S1 E22Buzz Beer
If you'd bothered to swallow that, you would have realized it had absolutely no aftertaste.
(Takes a sip, puckers lips, then smiles) Hey! The rotten egg taste is gone!
But it's a milk carton, little kids can't read... Hey, Can Timmy go out and play? No, I'm sorry, He just had a bowl of cereal and he's hammered.
(repeated line) I'm gonna lose my house.
BMr. Bell
What's the matter, Carey? You act like you've never seen me before.
Coffee and beer together? I gotta pee just thinking about it!
Oswald, nobody's gonna buy a beer that sets your mouth on fire!
I know. (brings out a pitcher, then gives it back) We'll make our money on the water.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Drew Carey Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.