“L.A. Jay” quotes from The Critic

Jay

All right, it's just you and me. Now what did you think of my script?

It was excrement.

Jay

Did you say it was excellent?

It was crummy.

Jay

Did you say it was yummy?

It was an awful piece of junk that made me want to puke all night.

Jay

Did you say it was an awesome piece of spunk that you want to shoot tonight?

It was a bilious piece of dirt that made me cry out in pain.

Jay

Did you say it was a brilliant piece of work, and you'll fly me to Spain? Where we'll meet King Juan Carlos and drink sangria all night?

You piece of blech.

(After being asked by his aide if Wings could still be aired for another season) Tell them there are limits to even my powers!

Jay

Hello, and welcome to Coming Attractions. Our first film is Ghostchasers III. I helped write this picture, but believe me when I say that this is the WORST MOVIE EVER MADE! Attention, L.A. street gangs: why kill each other when there are more deserving movie executives just miles from your home? Their addresses are...

Viewer Advisory: The rest of this review contains incitements to violence, foul language, rubber novelty pop, and brief nudity.

Jay

Good night, everybody. Join me in thirty days with my review of our overcrowded penal system.