Hello, and welcome to Coming Attractions. Our first film is Ghostchasers III. I helped write this picture, but believe me when I say that this is the WORST MOVIE EVER MADE! Attention, L.A. street gangs: why kill each other when there are more deserving movie executives just miles from your home? Their addresses are...
(smash cut to a pink card with a "Viewer Advisory" scroll on it)
Viewer Advisory: The rest of this review contains incitements to violence, foul language, rubber novelty pop, and brief nudity.
(cut back to the set, where Jay is now clad in only a towel as two police officers escort him off the stage)
Good night, everybody. Join me in thirty days with my review of our overcrowded penal system.
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