Jay and Gary Grossman in “L.A. Jay”

All right, it's just you and me. Now what did you think of my script?

It was excrement.

Did you say it was excellent?

It was crummy.

Did you say it was yummy?

It was an awful piece of junk that made me want to puke all night.

Did you say it was an awesome piece of spunk that you want to shoot tonight?

It was a bilious piece of dirt that made me cry out in pain.

Did you say it was a brilliant piece of work, and you'll fly me to Spain? Where we'll meet King Juan Carlos and drink sangria all night?

You piece of blech.