Sheldon and Penny in “The Infestation Hypothesis”

Thank you for letting me stay here while Leonard skypes with his girlfriend.

Oh, it's no problem. It's actually kind of funny: You reading, me reading, we're like an old married couple.

If we were an old, married couple the wife would serve iced tea and snicker-doodles.

I don't have iced tea and snicker-doodles.

A good wife would go to the store.

I want a divorce.

Good, on your way to see the lawyer pick some tea and cookies.