[Penny answers the door. Leonard is playing his cello outside.]
[singing, to the tune of Mary Had a Little Lamb] I’m sorry Alex hit on me, hit on me, hit on me. I’m sorry Alex hit on me, I’d no idea I’m cute.
Oh, damn it, you are.
Please forgive me. I should have told you about Alex.
I don’t care about Alex. Fine, I care. Okay, I hate that bitch. But what really hurt is that you liked it so much. I mean, do I need to be worried?
Of course not. No. Why?
Because, she is pretty and smart, and when you talk about work, she doesn't have to go home and look up words in the dictionary to understand what you said.
You do that?
[pause] No.
Hang on. Are you feeling insecure? Because that’s my thing, and if you take it away, I don’t know what I’m bringing to this relationship.
Yes, Leonard, I am insecure. Happy?
No, I’m not happy.
Why are you smiling?
I’m sorry. I just never think of you having feelings like that.
Well, I do.
Why? Nothing is ever going to happen between me and Alex.
Good.
Come here. Tell you a secret?
What’s that?
With all these women chasing me, I kind of do feel like Captain Kirk.
Can I tell you a secret?
Sure.
Keep talking about Captain Kirk, and we’re all gonna stop.
Message received.
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