Get vertical!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Straighten your spines!
Stand, ye rand!
Raise your rumps!
Make with the rising!
...to a cage match with two professional wrestlers!
...to one week locked up in a box with two contagious sick people!
...to be chased by an unpredictable man in a gorilla suit!
...to be sold to the highest bidder in the courtroom!
...to put a brand new 33-inch television in this boy's room; furthermore, I sentence you two to play dodgeball with three bitter Marines! Let the games begin!
...to give a very old woman piggyback for the next three years!
...Miss DeBoat over here to go on a romantic date with Janitor Jim!
...Dr. Pain In The Butt over here to get a little shot herself! Bailiff!
...to spend three years on the planet Venus!
Well, then you're going in a leopard cage!
Well, then I'll have to confiscate your dress!
Then this bailiff will have to put an angry chipmunk down your pants!
I'll have to ask the bailiff to dump that man's plate of lasagna down your trousers!
The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. See them? That's them.
Our next litigants are entering the courtroom. See the pants that guy's wearing? I have those same pants.
The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I wonder if they have any gum.
Here come our next litigants. I bet one of them trips. [The defendant trips while walking] Told ya.
The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I wish my name was Stephanie.
The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I wish I'd gone to college.
This is a special emergency trial in Judge Trudy's classroom. The defendant: Miss DeBoat. The plaintiff: Rodney Rippy. My parents wish that I'd never been born.
The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. Women laugh at me.
The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. No one invites me to parties.
The litigants for our next case are entering the courtroom. I'm a disappointment to my parents.
Court dismissed! Bring in the Dancing Lobsters!
PPlaintiff
Well, Judge Trudy, my teacher, Miss Burkel...she gave me the detention.
[crowd boos]
BMiss Burkel
I had every right to give him detention! Look at me!
JTJudge Trudy
You can't give a kid detention just because you're unattractive!
BMiss Burkel
I am talking about these things! They're all stuck to me!
JTJudge Trudy
Now it's his fault you're sticky?!
BMiss Burkel
I am NOT sticky by nature! He put glue on everything in the classroom!
PPlaintiff
You said to make a collage!
BMiss Burkel
Not upon me!
PPlaintiff
Who says "upon"?
BMiss Burkel
Listen, glue boy.
JTJudge Trudy
One more interruption and I'll glue something to your butt!
BMiss Burkel
THERE'S NO MORE ROOM ON MY BUTT!
JTJudge Trudy
Order! Order! This situation does NOT call for snickering!
BMiss Burkel
Thank you!
JTJudge Trudy
It calls for pointing and loud laughter. Begin.
JTJudge Trudy
I hereby sentence you to be sold to the highest bidder in the courtroom!
RGRandom gallery member
$1!
JTJudge Trudy
Sold! Take her away!
WGWhoopi Goldberg
All right, people! And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: the award for the best website in the world! And the winner for the best website is... ...www.AmandaPlease.com by Penelope Taynt! Penelope Taynt, come on up, girlfriend!
Thank you! Thank you, please! As you people know, my name is Penelope Taynt! I'm Amanda's number one fan, please, and I would like to thank the academy for giving me this award for the best website of the year, please! In fact, I can think of no better way to say "thank you" than to show you all my website right now! www.AmandaPlease.com. This week, you can win a surprise from "The Amanda Show!" See? That's the gavel Amanda uses when she plays Judge Trudy! If you visit my website, you might win this actual gavel...which I stole! Now, let's view the Amanda Video Clip of the Week! Watch as Amanda actually gargles...and spits! She's minty fresh, please! Back to the home page, where you'll find tons of Amanda games! So, isn't my website excellent!
WWhoopi
Let's hear it for www.AmandaPlease.com!
Thank you, Whopper!
WWhoopi
Whoopi. And now, Penelope, we have another surprise for you! Since your website, www.AmandaPlease.com is so excellent, you now get to meet Amanda!
I can't believe I finally get to meet Amanda, please!
WWhoopi
Could you put my head back on my body, please?
Sorry, please.
WWhoopi
She's right over there! Amanda, come on up!
Amanda! Amanda! Amanda, please! Amanda!
...Amanda, Amanda, Amanda! Where are you? Amanda! Please? It was a dream?! Why must I always awaken before I meet Amanda? I must continue sleeping immediately! Good night, please!
I like eggs!
If my name was Elizabeth, it'd be Elizabeth!
My name's Tammy. I'm an exchange student from Tennessee.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Amanda Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.