PPenelope
Sir! My name is Penelope Taynt! I'm Amanda's number one fan! I have my very own Amanda website: www.AmandaPlease.com.
SGSecurity Guard
Yeah, yeah. You're www.- coming with me!
S1 E15 Unfinished Business
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Penelope
The Amanda Show · 118 quotes
6th most-quoted character in The Amanda Show: in 5 of its 118 quotes
Scenes with Penelope 5
SWStaff worker
Who are you?
PPenelope
I'm...the air conditioning man.
SWStaff worker
But you're a girl.
PPenelope
Prove it! Where's Amanda, please?
SWStaff worker
Oh, she went to get dressed. She has to be on stage in just a minute.
PPenelope
Does this air conditioning vent lead to the stage?
SWStaff worker
I'm not sure.
PPenelope
Then thanks for nothing! I'll find Amanda myself, please! Fair thee well!
S1 E15 Unfinished Business
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WGWhoopi Goldberg
All right, people! And now, the moment you've all been waiting for: the award for the best website in the world! And the winner for the best website is... ...www.AmandaPlease.com by Penelope Taynt! Penelope Taynt, come on up, girlfriend!
PPenelope
Thank you! Thank you, please! As you people know, my name is Penelope Taynt! I'm Amanda's number one fan, please, and I would like to thank the academy for giving me this award for the best website of the year, please! In fact, I can think of no better way to say "thank you" than to show you all my website right now! www.AmandaPlease.com. This week, you can win a surprise from "The Amanda Show!" See? That's the gavel Amanda uses when she plays Judge Trudy! If you visit my website, you might win this actual gavel...which I stole! Now, let's view the Amanda Video Clip of the Week! Watch as Amanda actually gargles...and spits! She's minty fresh, please! Back to the home page, where you'll find tons of Amanda games! So, isn't my website excellent!
WWhoopi
Let's hear it for www.AmandaPlease.com!
PPenelope
Thank you, Whopper!
WWhoopi
Whoopi. And now, Penelope, we have another surprise for you! Since your website, www.AmandaPlease.com is so excellent, you now get to meet Amanda!
PPenelope
I can't believe I finally get to meet Amanda, please!
WWhoopi
Could you put my head back on my body, please?
PPenelope
Sorry, please.
WWhoopi
She's right over there! Amanda, come on up!
PPenelope
Amanda! Amanda! Amanda, please! Amanda!
PPenelope
...Amanda, Amanda, Amanda! Where are you? Amanda! Please? It was a dream?! Why must I always awaken before I meet Amanda? I must continue sleeping immediately! Good night, please!
S1 E15 Unfinished Business
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[Josh is playing rock, paper, scissors against himself in the mirror when Penelope shows up.]
PPenelope
Where's Amanda?! [Josh screams.] I said, "Where's Amanda, please?"
JJosh
I...I don't know.
PPenelope
How very sad for you.
[She holds up a tuning fork with electricity inside it.]
JJosh
No! Oh, please don't damage me! I'm just starting puberty! It's going to be a whole new world!
PPenelope
Wait!
JJosh
What?!
PPenelope
You're an actor on The Amanda Show!
JJosh
Yeah.
PPenelope
Perhaps you can be useful to me.
JJosh
How?
PPenelope
Introduce me to Amanda!
JJosh
You're crazy! I'll get fired!
PPenelope
I'll make it worth your while.
JJosh
Huh?
PPenelope
You know, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.
JJosh
Uh, okay. [He turns around.] Right between the shoulders.
PPenelope
No, brainless! [Slaps him on the butt.] I'm offering you a deal!
JJosh
What kind of a deal?
[Penelope grabs Josh's hair to make him stand up, and he reacts to it.]
PPenelope
You introduce me to Amanda, and I will make your co-actor, Blake, disappear.
JJosh
Drake? Why would I want Drake to disappear?
PPenelope
Think about it, simple boy. With Blake gone, you'll get to play all of his parts on the show.
JJosh
Wow.
[Josh imagines himself in a Hillbilly Moment sketch, Tony Pajamas sketch, and Totally Kyle sketch, in the roles where Drake normally appears; the first two sketches air later in the episode.]
PPenelope
Well?
JJosh
How do we get rid of Blake?
PPenelope
Remember our deal; I dispose of Blake.
JJosh
Drake.
PPenelope
It matters!
JJosh
Sorry.
PPenelope
I get rid of Blake, and you introduce me to Amanda.
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