Harvey Specter quotes from Suits

Harvey

What happened with Judge Fullman?

Jessica

There might be a slight problem.

Harvey

What did you do?

Jessica

Why do you assume I did something?

Harvey

What did you do?

Jessica

There was a prank.

Harvey

How bad was it?

Jessica

We went to law school together, and I got her drunk.

Harvey

So?

Jessica

So she woke up in front of the entire con law class.

Harvey

It's recoverable.

Jessica

She might have been naked.

Harvey

Might have?

Jessica

Was.

Harvey

We're screwed.

Jessica

Come on, Harvey. She was uptight. I just straightened her out. It's what you do with uptight people.

Harvey

Well why don't you ever do that to Louis?

Jessica

I did. [smiles]

Harvey

That was you? He blamed me.

Jessica

You can be uptight sometimes too. That's why I let him think it was you.

Harvey

Told him it was me.

Jessica

That's what I said.

Harvey

It's okay, I deserved it.

Jessica

What?

Harvey

Do you remember when he was so mad when his cat peed in the corner of his office?

Jessica

Mm-hmm.

Harvey

That wasn't his cat.

Harvey

Let's get one thing clear: I'm not Charlie Brown, you're not Lucy, and that's not a football.

Donna

Let's get two things clear. I don't remember ever placing a call to Zoe, but her message said she was calling back.

Harvey

I called her. For business.

Donna

What kind of business? A merger?

Harvey

Okay, what are you, twelve years old?

Donna

I'm not the one robbing the cradle here!

Harvey

I'm not robbing anything. Zoe and I are the same age.

Donna

So you admit it. You called to ask her on a date. Behind my back.

Harvey

It wasn't behind your back, you'd gone home already.

Donna

Because you waited for me to go home.

Harvey

Like I said, it was behind your back.

Harvey

We have breakfast at Nougatine and an excursion to Hermès that may or may not involve a new handbag.

Donna

You've been needing a new handbag.

Harvey

You can never have too many handbags.

Donna

You're a woman after my own heart.

Harvey

What about a hedge fund guy? It's big money.

Think bigger.

Harvey

Obama.

I'm not going to land the president as my first client.

Harvey

Fine, if you don't think you can.

You're not going to manipulate me into trying to land Obama.

Harvey

Well, it better be somebody like that, or Jessica won't give up on her early buy-in bullshit.

What if I got myself a sports guy?

Harvey

The very fact that you call it 'a sports guy' means it's a no.

Harvey, just because I don't know sports doesn't mean I don't know you.

Harvey

What are you talking about?

If I'm going to change Jessica's mind, I can't just land someone, I have to land someone you couldn't.

Harvey

There's no one I couldn't land.

You think I don't know about Beijing?

Harvey

That's his word against mine.

Oh, well, um I guess we can clear that up right now, because look who just walked in.

Harvey

You knew he was coming here tonight?

You think I like Argentinean food? I just need you to stop him for a second.

Harvey

I get it. You got the idea from Working Girl, when they crash the wedding to get to Trask Radio.

Harvey, I'm not a 14-year-old girl. I don't get my ideas from movies.