Before we leave, that is Ricky, he's a new student here at Flatpoint... Now, I want you to treat Ricky like you would any other student you know nothing about and who evidently feels he can walk into my classroom in the middle of the semester and expect me to change my lesson plan.
S1 E5Bogie Nights
Talk your monkey ass off.
Florida: Beautiful weather. Harsh penal system...
If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we'd all have a bowl of granola!
I did things I wouldn't force on a mule, and that includes things I forced on a mule.
Befriending new people can lead to having sex with your children, accidentally.
RRicky
You gave me away?
No, no, never! I traded you for a guitar. And all these years I've wondered, what happened to that guitar?
S1 E6Let Freedom Ring
(After a portion of Martin Luther King's "I Have A Dream" speech) A moving vision of the future. King's dream was for an America without racism of any kind. The tragedy, of course, is that all this footage is in black and white. Imagine how powerful it would have been in color.
I like the pole and the hole, and right now I'm as moist as a snack cake down there. So, why don't you come over to my crib after school, and I'll make your pinky aaaall stinky.
How's it goin', Susie? Nice camel-toe.
I do like black people! It just took a white one to prove it to me.
But please, no mylar balloons. They never deflate and I just don't have the heart to throw them away.
S1 E7Feather in the Storm
You can't unfry things, Jerri.
Your daughter has a disease we call... anorexia.
Is that contagious?
Yes. It often sweeps through third world countries that are stricken by drought.
[to Stew] Simmer down... Stew. Obviously you have a beef, Stew, but please don't stir things up.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Strangers with Candy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.