Strangers with Candy · Season 3, Episode 1
“Jerri's Burning Issue” · Season 3, Episode 1
In this episode: Jerri Blank (4), Chuck Noblet (1), Geoffrey Jellineck (1)
Jerri, I have some bad news. You have syphilis.
No!
Not only that, it appears your syphilis is infested with crabs that are carrying gonorrhea. Don't you use condoms?
Look, doc, I go all natural. That's why my prices are so high.
That's pretty irresponsible. But, thanks to Penicillin, there's no need to act responsible. Penicillin is nature's condom!
Jerri, you're not hearing what I'm saying.
Oh, that's okay, Doc, 'cause you're not saying what I'm hearing.
Do a lot of the people die of syphilis?
Oh, absolutely. Historically, syphilis is right up there with Germans. It wiped out the Romanovs, it decimated our fleet at Pearl Harbor, and of course, Fidel Castro impersonated Marilyn Monroe and gave President Kennedy a case of syphilis so severe that eventually it blew the back of his head off.
How was the city of Pompeii lost?
No one knows. It was buried under tons of lava, which of course destroyed all the records.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Strangers with Candy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
