I cried when I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed... really hard.
“Dreams on the Rocks” · Season 1, Episode 3
In this episode: Jerri Blank (4), Sara Blank (3), Chuck Noblet (1)
[On Sara's alcoholism.]
I'm dealing with this the same way I dealt with my own alcoholism and drug addiction: With lies and delusion.
[Jerri attempts to extinguish a fire with the contents of Sara's mug, but instead ends up fueling the flames.]
What was in that?!
Breakfast!
Well, what kind of breakfast was that?
A cup of rum cake... We just ran out of flour.
CCraig
You need to face the fact that your mother is an alcoholic. But that doesn't mean that she doesn't love you.
No, I've heard her say plenty of times that she doesn't love me.
CCraig
She was probably drunk.
No, I'm pretty sure she was sober.
Following his violent revolution, Gandhi was devoured by his followers.
[to Noblet] Hoo hoo! "Chuck"! You know what that rhymes with...
But I'm not an alcoholic! I can stop whenever I want! What, you don't believe me? Well, if you're such a good listener, why don’t you watch this? Say goodbye to my mixers!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Strangers with Candy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.