David Michael Starsky quotes from Starsky & Hutch

Hutch

Sure your arm's gonna be all right?

Starsky

Couldn't be better. I told ya, Gene Autry gets it there all the time.

Hutch

You know something? You look terrible.

Starsky

Hey, don't let me fool you; I played Camille in high school.

Hutch

[after Starsky weaved through traffic, driving the wrong way on a one way street] You didn't see the arrow, huh?

Starsky

I didn't even see the Indians.

[Pinching Starsky's cheek] Anyone ever tell you you're as cute as a teddy bear?

Starsky

[to Hutch] I can't help it.

Hutch

I didn't know Little Orphan Annie was still around.

Starsky

Yeah. She's developin'.

Hutch

You ever see a fat lion, huh?

Starsky

Come to think about it, I've never seen a thin hippopotamus.

Huggy Bear

Welcome to Rodent Downs, gentlemen. Just a friendly game of chance amongst friends.

Starsky

Mouse racing?

Hutch

I don't believe it.

Huggy Bear

Well, you ever try to get ten horses in a basement?

Starsky

[Upon discovering a dead body in a shower stall] Tell me he slipped on a bar of soap.

Hutch

He slipped on a bar of soap.

Starsky

I don't believe it.

Hutch

Neither do I.

Say, I know you.

Starsky

Yeah, you know my Uncle Al.

Right, right. You drive that red tomato with the white stripe.

Starsky

Uh, red Torino.

Tomato, tomahto, what's the difference?

All right, what the hell are you doing? We have Jojo under surveillance and all of a sudden you pick him up?

Hutch

Surprised it took you this long to find us.

Listen!

Starsky

Ssshhh! Now calm down, will ya? We just decided to take Jojo out for a bite to eat - only he ain't hungry.

Hutch

Yeah. And after that, us girls are gonna do a little shopping.

Hutch

Thanks buddy... but what'd you have to do that for? He was the only guy that knew.

Starsky

[hardly breathing] Seemed to be a good idea at the time.

Starsky

Find my pants.

Hutch

I've got your watch.

Starsky

You forgot my pants?

Hutch

Uh...

Starsky

You mean you want me to hit the streets with no pants, no badge, no gun, no dignity? What's the matter with you? [to doctor] Do you believe him?

Hutch

You know, you're right, Starsk, I should have left you lying on the floor while I decided which pair of your equally crummy blue jeans I should pack.

Hi, Starchy. Hi, Hup.

Starsky

Now, how many times we got to tell you... I'm Starchy. He's Hup.

Well, the sun was kinda in my eyes, and you guys look an awful lot alike.

Starsky

You still seeing whatshername?

Hutch

Sure. Still seeing whatshername. Took her to the whatchamacallit. Gave her my thingamajig.

Starsky

I didn't know it was that serious.

Starsky

Okay, Rollie, who was supposed to kill me?

I don't know, Starsk. On my mother's life I don't know.

Starsky

You don't have a mother. You were found in a garbage can behind Weight Watchers.